Chapter 55

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The weekend wasn't perfect. There were meltdowns and messes, and the kids occasionally had a rough time too. Monday was interesting. Viv wasn't used to me working, and I wasn't used to working with little fingers trying to help. Eventually, and with the help of a coloring book, she settled next to me at my desk.

"Is Viv with you?" Billy texted.

"I feel like you should know that." I quickly typed back.

"I do know that. What I mean is, is it okay that Viv is with you?"

"Yeah, she's coloring, and I checked the self-view on my camera to make sure she is out of sight. I kind of like the company."

I glanced at Viv's head bowed over her coloring book. She had the same wiry hair as her father, but it was a warmer brown than his. She quietly colored and drew the whole morning. It seemed weird that she was so content just being near me. The only other person who seemed to enjoy just being near me was her dad.

"Ready for lunch? I said after my morning calls.

"No more work?" Viv suspiciously questioned.

"Not until after our nap." I'd learned that even if I wasn't going to take a nap, to pretend I was going to take one. Viv put up less of a fight if she thought nothing would happen while she was asleep.

The downstairs was quiet and empty, so we headed to the barn's studio. Billy had Jackson on his knee, bouncing away as he worked at his makeshift office since I displaced him.

"Hey, anyone hungry?" I asked.

Billy's eyes snapped up from the startle as Viv made herself at home on a beat-up old couch. My eyes hung on it for a moment. I was confident it had been a holdover from Mary's old house. The awkward sag on one side didn't dispel the idea.

"Yeah," Billy said with a stretch. "I guess we lost track of time."

Jackson reached for me with a few babbles, and I was happy to appease him. He clung to my neck and tugged on my earlobe.

"Tired, bud?" I whispered to him.

Jackson responded by burrowing deeper into my neck.

"Come on," Billy called to Viv, who was happy to jump into his arms and enjoy the ride back to the house. "What do you want for lunch?"

"Peanut butter toast," Viv declared, as expected.

We had gotten her to eat some carrots, but only with peanut butter. Peanut butter seemed to be the key ingredient to all her requests.

"Can we have a dance party this afternoon?" Viv asked before diving into her freshly peanut butter-smeared toast.

"Well, your mom will be here after your nap," Billy absently spoke as he tried to keep Jackson from getting peanut butter in his hair.

"Oh, so Mom can come to the dance party too?" Viv suggested.

"Actually, she is picking you up to stay with Nana Carol." Billy's words were smooth as he tried to keep the tone casual.

"But Lily's here. I want to stay home," Viv complained.

"I'll be here when you come back." the words spilled from me casually. I didn't stop to think that I might not be here when she came back. I hadn't thought about my length of stay and definitely had not talked to Billy about it. I tried to catch his eye, but he was still focused on Jackson.

"Promise?" Viv whispered, and it was clear Billy didn't hear her.

"I promise; we'll have at least one more dance party before I go." I leaned in close and kissed her on the top of her head.

"You can have dance parties with Dad while I'm at Nana's. He likes them too," she added, a bit more chipper.

I was working when Sarah arrived. Viv tentatively peeked into my doorway, clearly instructed not to bother me if I was on a call.

"Hey all, I have to step away for a moment," I announced in my meeting before turning off my audio and video. "Hey you, your mom here?" I offered, inviting her in as I took my headset off.

"Yeah, Dad said I could come to say bye as long as I wasn't bothering you." As she spoke, she slid up onto my lap.

"Kiddo, you're never bothering me." I gave her a squeeze of a hug.

"That's what I said." She spoke matter-of-factly, causing me to laugh.

"You promise you'll be here when I get back?" She asked again.

"I promise," I readily agreed again.

She was gone as quickly as she came, and I was back in my meeting. There was a feeling of sadness that was crawling in me. I was going to miss Viv. She had quickly become my shadow, my little buddy.

Not long after, Billy entered almost identically to Viv, and I muted my audio and camera again.

"I have to run into the studio for a couple of hours. You okay here?" He asked over my monitors.

"Yeah." And for no reason at all, I pulled my headset off and stood. "I have to admit; I already miss the kids a bit."

"See, I knew you'd love them," he teased.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I threw my hands up in defeat.

"Okay, I should be home by six." He leaned over the desk, and his lips hit mine for a moment. "Love you, Lil," he called over his shoulder as he left.

"Love you too. Be careful," I called back.

And the moment had passed. I had been back on my call for a full ten minutes before I realized Billy Collins had kissed me on the lips. It wasn't vulgar or sexual, but it wasn't the friendly kisses on my forehead or temple. It was somewhere in between, in the gray area. I only let my mind linger there momentarily before returning to my meetings. 

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