Chapter 36

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"Hey, Billy." My voice always felt so empty when I was leaving a voicemail. "Give me a call when you can. I have an update on graduation."

It felt like Billy had been looking forward to my graduation since we met, and now I had to tell him I couldn't get him a ticket. Even with moving the graduation to the Civic Center, each graduate only got two tickets. I had to get one for Sam from a girl in my Russian Lit class that was skipping graduation to go to Cabo. I envied her. I'd rather be in Cabo than tell Billy he couldn't come to my graduation. The idea of telling him via text or voicemail was tempting, but I knew it was wrong. Still, we had been playing phone tag for three days, so soon that might be my only option. As I fantasized about the out, my phone rang with Billy's familiar ringtone.

"Hey," I answered on the second ring.

"Hey there, hotshot. I was beginning to think we'd never catch each other," Billy teased.

"I know, me too." My tone revealed the news I had to share.

"Okay, spill it. What's wrong?" Billy prodded.

"I can't get you a ticket to graduation," I poured. "They moved it to the Civic Center, but they still only allow graduates two tickets each. I had to beg one from a girl in my Russian Lit class so that Sam could come."

"Woah, woah, woah. Easy there. Okay, this isn't a big deal. It's at the Civic Center. I can have my tour manager give the venue a call."

"No, you absolutely cannot do that!" I angrily cut him off.

"Lil, it's no big deal," Billy absently spoke.

"It is a huge deal. You can't do that. If you do that, then the ticket will come from somewhere. It's a fire code thing. You can't steal a seat from someone else."

"So, you don't want me to come? After all the conversations and pep talks, you don't want me to come to your graduation, but you'll nab a ticket for Sam?"

"Seriously. You know Sam has to come. He's my boyfriend," I whined.

"Right, and I'm just your best friend. The one that has talked you through the past two and a half years of your education, but sure make room for the boyfriend," Billy growled.

"Are you seriously mad at me about this?" Shock and anger rolled through me.

"Yes, of course I am. How many nights did I talk you through things? How many times did I tell you that you'd nail the test or crush the paper?"

"How often did I run off across the country at the expense of my focus on school to see you?" I argued back.

"Really? You're bringing that up again? I'm sorry I wanted to see you. I'm sorry I wanted to watch you graduate. I'm such a fucking dick for wanting to support you."

"Whatever, Billy. It's my graduation. Did you ever think that I wanted to keep the day about me and not have a rock star in the audience?"

"Oh fuck you, Lil. You know I wouldn't steal anything away from you. I just wanted to be there for you, but clearly that's not what you want."

"I tried to get you a ticket. I don't have any other options, and no, I don't want you to pull strings. It's just not cool. I don't want to you who you are to any advantage."

"You say that like I'm a fucking monster, Lil. I'm your friend. What the fuck do you mean 'use who I am to your advantage'?" Rage filled Billy's words.

"You know what I mean," I barked.

"You will never get over my choices. No matter what I do, what our relationship is, how low key I try to be, you'll always be pissed that I chose music over you."

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