beautifully broken

Chapter 4

It was dark and gone 12pm ages ago but this was nothing new to me I was always up late, sleep wasn't something that came easy to me

I walked in the front door immediately hearing hurried footsteps, something I wasn't used to.

"Raya?! It's almost 2am where have you been?!" Mike yelled. If I didn't know he hated me I would have thought he sounded like he cared for a moment.

I didnt answer to him of course.

"I've tried calling you hundreds of times!" Mike? Having my number? It's probably the wrong one.

I shrug my shoulders and go into the kitchen putting my journal down on the table

"it's gone 2am and I'm meant to be watching over you because I've been asked to! Are you that stupid?! There are weirdos out there and mum would have killed me if something happened to you-" I knew mum had asked him to do it. Why else would he have told me I was staying with him. I was too in over my head for this.

I scoffed and laughed at him.. He was more worried about what mum would say if I got hurt than if was ok? I mean she wouldn't care but it hurt more than I was letting on

"Mike, bud calm down. Its late we should go to bed and talk about this in the morning" luke spoke calmly to him but he just had to keep going. I had been here less than 48 hours and he's already shouting at me, this wasn't going to end well.

"your so selfish-!"

"that's enough Michael to your room now!" calum shoved him up the stairs, I guess yet again he picked up on how upset he was making me. It's like he's known me for years

"fucking sort it our raya!" He screams one more time before disappearing

Leaving me, ash and luke alone stood in the kitchen. They looked disappointed in me.

"get some sleep love it's very late" ash sighs.

"night raya"

They leave the kitchen to go to bed leaving me alone in my feels. They looked so disappointed in me and Mike was pissed. How was I being selfish? I don't understand. Why can't anything be normal?

I picked up my journal and walked up to my room. Why can't I just fix anything? Why can't I fix what I ruined? I just make everything worse. One, he won't let me that for sure. Two, I don't even talk how can I fix anything?

I lay on my bed and I can't help but let a few tears fall. He really doesn't want anything to do with me.

My door opened and someone climbed into the bed with me but I didn't know who it was, I jumped at the contact and shuffled as close to the end of the bed as possible.

"wanna talk about it?"

It was luke. He must have heard me. Damn me for being so loud.

"don't worry you didn't wake me and I didn't hear you until I went to use the bathroom. I couldn't leave you crying, I know it's not a nice feeling." It goes silent for a moment and all that could be heard was our breathing.

"Can I-?" He opens his arms and gently pulls me into them. A feeling if warmth and comfort washed over me. I felt safe.

I nodded into his chest and he put his arms around me almost protectively.

"you don't have to talk but I know you didn't sleep last night either so I assume you don't really sleep at all. I understand you don't talk but I'm here for you at any time."

I smile through the dark even though he cant see me, he was quickly becoming something to me and it scared me. I hear a soft voice begin to sing,

It was him. Singing best years a song that was in my playlist. Me and Mike didn't talk but I was still proud of him and the music he and his friends have made. We both created art just in different forms.

I fell asleep listening to his quiet and gentle voice singing sending me into a much needed sleep. A sleep I hadnt had in forever

Sleep requires peace. And peace was something I never felt.. sleep was something that was rare for me. 

~morning~

"they look so cute!"

"you right cal they so do!"

"no. No they don't. Why is breadstick sleeping with my sister?"

"shut up Michael. Do we wake them?"

"we have work. We have to."

I hear quiet footsteps pad along the carpeted floor and I'm shaken awake gently even though I was woken up by them talking.

"luke, raya. Come on time to get up"

"w-what time is it?" holy shit the morning voice. Holy shit-

"time for work get up you two"

He wrapped his arms around me tighter and groaned, I wasn't complaining.

The three guys leave and luke turns to me

"I assume you slept well? I have to work your welcome to come but it will get more than boring so maybe staying here will be better."
I nodded and he kissed the top of my head making me smile and he climbs out of the bed

"see you later raya"

I smile and wave lightly, he leave and closes the door behind him

20 minutes later I heard three voices none of which were the voice I wanted to hear

"bye Raya!"

"bye! See you later!"

"bye love!"

I waited for the sound of the door being closed to go and adventure around the house

I went into the living room seeing pictures of the four of them from when they were young and some newer. They all looked so happy, they were family to each other.

I saw a picture of ash sat at the drums with his headphones in making me smile

I took a picture of the picture on my phone and ran back to my room pulling out my journal I felt like it was a perfect picture to dra.
I zoomed in on certain parts of the picture blasting Green day through my headphones and drawing Ashton Irwin.