beautifully broken

Chapter 7

Luke and I had finished playing call of duty and of course I won and he's being a sore loser, I was a master at cod.

"if you would have just walked out so I could shoot you I would have won!"

I giggle and shake my head at him. Then all of a sudden I remember what Michael said.

Stay away from the boys

It hit me like a tun of bricks out of nowhere.

I didn't see the issue but I wanted to fix things not make it worse so I wondered off to my room, it was late since me and luke had been playing for hours even calum ended up going to bed and he was always hanging around at late hours

I was sat on my bed scrolling through Instagram when Mike walked in my room closing the door behind him. Not again..

"listen I know luke asked you to play but you could have said no. I don't want to have to tell you again raya. Sort it out or your out of this house I mean it."

He walked towards the door again but I decided after all these years I would speak up for myself but before I could Ashton interrupted me saving my ass from embarrassment.

"what is your problem with her Michael? Get the fuck out of her room and leave her alone for once." he spoke quietly careful not to wake calum or luke. Although he spoke quietly it sounded really demanding and if I was on the other end of that I would be shitting myself

" whatever" Mike storms out of my room and Ash looks at me with a warming smile

"goodnight raya. Sweet dreams"

He closes the door leaving me in my dark room all alone again

I didn't understand. I felt lost and alone but I had for years so it was nothing new to me. Yes he broke me, I never fully got to fix it before he began breaking it again. I felt more of a connection with Ashton, calum and luke than I did Michael and he was my actual brother. I don't know what it is but it seemed like Mike is scared of something, it was weird.

Maybe he was too scared of messing things up again like I am. Maybe I really did something I don't remember that I need to fix but he made sure I knew it was my fault everyday without a doubt he would tell me. What I would do to have my bestfriend back but he doesn't want me back.

Michael's pov

I storm out of raya's room shutting my door and laying on my bed staring at the ceiling

I felt terrible. Why do I have to be such a dick to her?

I think I was more scared of letting her in again and messing things up so I kept my distance showing her I didn't want her but in reality I wanted things to blow up so I could finally break and tell her because I couldn't find it in me to fix things normally. I couldnt walk in there and tell her im sorry I really couldn't and I don't know why

I remember the last day I saw her so vividly

She was crying sat on the last step of the stairs begging me not to leave, begging me to take her or stay.

"MIKEYBEAR DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE!"

"I'm so sorry raya.." I kiss her head cupping her face in my hands

"I love you Ray. I'll be back soon I promise and I'll be famous and I'll take you for all the sweets and all the chocolates you want.. Just hold on for me alright. I love you so much. Be strong my little lion. What do lions do?"

"t-they go ra ra"

I smile at her feeling my eyes burn with tears

"only the strongest lions so ra ra.. See you soon little ra ra"

I kiss her head again and she grips my hand. My mum knowing I needed to go pulled her hand off of mine so I could leave. It broke my heart seeing her turn to my mum and sob into her shirt

My mum smiled and mouthed 'go, it's alright' to me, I walk outside and walks down the road to calum's house where the boys were waiting for me

It felt like I could still hear her screams and cries for me but I just had to block them out and ignore it as hard as it was. She was strong and didn't need me anymore...

I finally snapped out of it feeling my cheeks soaked with tears and I quickly wipe them up

It was the memory of when it all went down hill. It was the last good memory of us. The rest I couldn't even tell you what happened.. I was horrible and just seeing her made me realise I needed her as much as she needed me but I just couldn't give her that anymore. I didn't want to mess it up anymore than I already have.

God damn it ray.

I love you so much but you just don't know it...

Love you my little ra ra..

Thoughts on Michael?
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