I woke up the next morning sleeping the entire night which I was thankful for to be honest, it was well needed.
I got ready for day throwing on mascara and eyeliner like usual
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(her outfit)
I heard my name being called so I ran downstairs to see what I was needed for I didn't expect it to be anything too major.
"looking good raya. We have to go to the studio-" ash tells me while the other guys get their shoes on.
I nod and sigh and flop on the couch about to turn the tv on.
"do you wanna come? We won't be there that long today just a few hours." He offers and I immediately get excited and nod my head not thinking about what Michael had said. It completely crossed my mind.
"let's go then." He smiles.
Michael stays silent the entire ride while the other three sing at the top of their lungs to the songs that played on the radio, it made me smile.
We finally make it to the studio and I jump out following them inside, this is where the magic happened.
"so you can sit here and watch us through the glass" calum explains before walking through a door so now he's on the other side of the glass. I smile at him and he sticks his tongue out at me. I laugh and so does he and soon im sat hearing the boys sing their music
I loved listening to their music in general but hearing and seeing the like backgrounds of it and the many tries to take to get it perfect is really really cool, also the amount of effort that goes into it is incredible. The fun they have aswell.
"a few more hours and we can go home" luke tells me while drinking his water, I wave a hand and he smiles walking back to the recording room
They mess around for hours doing silly dances and singing wierdly. But then again it's 5sos- am I surprised? Not at all.
Michael looked genuinely happy. It was nice seeing him smile again and him not being grumpy around me all the time. I think it shows he's happier without me. It shows hes better of without me, but I need him. If it means I suffer for his happiness then I'm okay with that. I will do that if that's what it will takes. I would do it in a heartbeat.
What if the one day he left I didn't let him go and he stayed? Would it all be different now? Would he still be my bestfriend? What if I would have just held him that bit tighter?
What ever did happen? I know we lost contact and that's what he tells the boys but I know there's something so much more. Losing contact wouldn't mean all of this for barely anything.
I wanted to dye my hair again and put my nose ring back in and look like him I just knew I couldn't, he didn't like it and I respected that. I didn't want any of the boys to think I was trying too hard to fix things with Michael but I think they knew how important he was to me but it was never the other way around
It's like a giant puzzle
You have all these pieces but can't find the last piece to make the entire picture make sense
They had pieces but only needed that one important one to makes all the things that didn't make sense between me and Mike make sense and bring the picture together.
I don't know how I feel about luke. I mean he's 24 and I'm 17. Michael is an ass but protective and one, he wouldn't let me date him. Two, he won't let me near him. Three, there is no three..
I just needed to scream and let it all out. I wanted to scream, shout at him and stand up for myself but I literally couldn't find the voice to do it. I let him walk all over me.
I don't think he realises he has me wrapped around his finger. He has me at his feet. I don't know if he wants to feel powerful or just likes putting me down but he's happy I guess. That's all that matters.
"Raya! Snap out of it"
I look up seeing them now standing infront of me
"we've been calling your name for 10 minutes, where did you go?" ash questions and giggles after.
"we are all done. Let's get home, I really need to shower. Bass gets me sweaty."
Ew gross cal.
I picked up my phone and followed them out to the car Mike walked in first holding the door open for everyone but letting it slam in my face for me.
We got in the car again shut the door before I could climb in, asshole.
We finally made it home and I walked in taking my shoes off and walking to my room before I could get there I tripped falling onto my knees
I looked around seeing ash laughing and Mike smirk, tucking his foot back in but Ashton didn't notice.
"alright there raya?" he giggled. They both walk away leaving me on the floor. I felt tears rush to my eyes making me stand and go to my room slamming the door, this poor door.
I sat crossed legged on my bed feeling myself want to cry but I couldn't show him the satisfaction of seeing me cry
