𝐌𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫 || 𝖳𝖾𝖼𝗁𝗇𝗈

꧁~Love Is Difficult~(Part VI)꧂

(A/N-TW- most of this chapter involves mention of triggering topics such as: Mentions of manipulation, panic, and a minor nervous breakdown, if any of these things trigger you, or maybe you aren't comfortable reading; I will have a quick summary at the bottom.)

"I guess I'm getting to know you."

"Yeah, I guess you are."

~María's POV~

"Can I give you some advice?" I turned over to him, he was grinning.

"Okay, shoot," I giggled at him.

"You need a boyfriend María."

"Not a hamster," he chuckled.

I froze.

"Why do you say that?"

My heart sank as I processed his words.

"I'm joking," he probably thought this was harmless fun. I still felt hurt.

I felt hurt because it was true but false.

"Am I really that pathetic...?" he looked at me with a confused expression.

He stopped laughing.

"What are you talking about?" he pulled up a chair and put it across from me -who sitting on the bed.

He was staring at me.

I stood up after he sat down. I didn't want to look at him.

"Am I really so pathetic that you felt the need to tell me that I should get a boyfriend?" I faced the corner of the room where the divider was.

My chest was growing heavy.

"María that's not what I meant," I didn't see his reaction as I was turned away.

I can't be doing this. The heaviness grew.

"You meant what you said and you said what you meant..."

I then opened the divider and walked in.

"María, listen-" he could be heard getting up from the seat.

"No Techno, you listen to me!" I shot back in a whisper so I didn't startle Tater-Tot. I pulled the divider shut. I didn't want to look at him.

I can't do it.

"I tried the whole boyfriend thing before!" I sat Tater-tot down, gently in his bedding. His nose was pointed up at the sky.

"Hell, I even tried the whole LOVE thing as well!"

I need to hold back.

I grabbed a container from a shelf and opened it.

But it's too hard...

"You want to know how that worked out for me?" I slid my hand in the narrow container, pulling out a small treat.

I can't fight it.

"Huh?" I felt myself beginning to break down.

"María, I know-" he tried to cut in.

I'm sorry.

"NO, you don't know!" but I cut him off.

.You're not sorry.

I closed the container and slammed it back on the shelf when I heard it, them.

"You don't know SHIT!" I shifted over to direction of Tater-Tot.

"I've only known you for a day, and I already decided to trust you!" I leaned to the cage and placed the treat in Tater-tot's paws.

"What does that tell you about me? Hmm?"

.If you were sorry, you'd not be such a failure.

I was struggling to stand up straight.

"I'm so fucked up! I'm so fucked up because of him!" I gave Tater-Tot a few scratches on the back while he nibbled the treat, eventually stuffing it into his pouch.

"I have so many issues now."

I grabbed the top and slid it over the cage.

"You met a broken girl who can't even fend for herself..." I locked the cage doors shut.

I felt the sting.

"You met a girl so scared of life, and so fucking scared of a boy," tears roll down my cheeks.

"HE scares me Techno!" I fell to the floor, and leaned against the wall.

"What he did to me! How he hurt me!" I put my head in my hands and cried.

.Bitch.

"He hurt me..." I whispered to myself.

"But I still blame myself..."

I felt the weight rapidly grow.

I felt the throb in my head, heart, and chest.

"How did he hurt you?" a voice that went shivering down my spine, asked.

I looked up and saw Techno sitting across from me.

"He broke me..." I felt so vulnerable in that moment.

This boy; the one sitting in front of me, had the option to mend or to shatter me, with any single word.

I didn't give him a chance to respond before I did the unexpected.

I leapt towards him, and I hugged him tight.

"Love is difficult."

(A/N- Chapter Summary: Techno mentioned getting a boyfriend to María as a joke. María had a bad experience with that matter in the past and mentioning it, made María react in a panicked and emotional way. She pretty much explains to Techno that she has tried the 'boyfriend' thing and implies that, that situation damaged her in a major way. She explains that her ex scares her and has made her "messed up" and such. She is seen to be fighting with herself  during her 'minor' break down. The chapter ends with María giving Techno a hug and saying "love is difficult.")

(A/N- Yeah, I know this chapter is WAY shorter than the last, but today's chapter was more of a serious moment and needed it's own chapter. This could possibly be my second favorite chapter! Also fun fact: my past hamster's name was Tater-tot. As much as I loved all my past hamsters, he just seemed to have a special place in my heart. That hamster got me through so much. The next chapter will be up tomorrow! As of right now, daily uploads (and sometimes multiple uploads a day)  for you amazing people. Anyways, as always, I love you guys so much!❤️)

(-Hamster)
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