𝐌𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫 || 𝖳𝖾𝖼𝗁𝗇𝗈

꧁~Thinking While Alone~(XLV)꧂

As the remainder of tears dried on my skin, I closed my eyes and thought.

Why does it have to be like this?

My face was hot, my eyes were burning, and the headache hadn't gone away.

Why can't I just pull my life together?

My mind kept wandering until thoughts of him, popped into my head.

For someone who put me through so much pain, I should have blamed him, and mainly him, for the state I was in.

Fuck him.

I hope he rots in hell.

But... it wasn't him that I blamed the most.

But no.

Yeah I want him to feel pain as I feel it now, but I'm my worst enemy. I did this to myself.

Why does it hurt to be alone?

If I could take care of myself by myself, I wouldn't be in such a vulnerable position.

And then there was the fact that Techno was nowhere to be seen. It looked like he wasn't even here to begin with.

Picking up my phone, as I scrolled, there were no texts from him either.

It couldn't have been a dream, he was here, I know it.

But this makes no sense.

I forced myself up and out of bed.

~~~~

It hurt. It hurt to look through the window and not see any sign of him.

The house was empty, there was no one there except for me, and the dogs at my feet.

He's not here.

Sinking to the floor, I felt myself crumble.

I hate this, I hate this feeling, I hate being alone.

I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

~~~~

This doesn't make sense, why am I so torn up over him not being here?

Maybe I should text, ask him if he was here.

My stomach was growling, but I did my best to ignore it.

But then if he wasn't actually here, I'd look like an idiot.

All of a sudden, my phone began to buzz. I was getting a call.

Flipping the phone - screen up - my eyes darted to the name.

...Incoming call from...
ⓉⒶ Ⓛ Ⓘ Ⓐ

In a moment's time, I pressed decline.

I can't do this right now.

My body felt so weak.

That's when...

~Techno's POV~

As I stepped out of my car and walked down the road and made my way through the grass, I stopped to place my keys in the pocket of the long coat I wore.

I was startled upon hearing the front door open and slam shut.

When I looked up, it was a sight I didn't expect to see.

(A/N- This chapter is short because it is leading up to a bit of angst, but I promise it will be over soon. Love you❤️)

My hamster passed away a couple of weeks ago, it's been hard losing another one, it's been hard losing him. Miss you Stevie <3  Life has been more stressful, and adding this into the mix, doesn't help. Unfortunately, I will be slow to updating (so sorry).  This was never the plan, trust me. I had hoped to be doing daily updates again soon, but I don't think I will get to that in the near future.  I love you, I care about you, I cherish you.

(Hamster Fact: [finishing the story] The unnamed woman's liver was transplanted to a man who then died. It was discovered that the liver was infected with LMCV, supposedly transmitted from a sickly, infected, hamster. This infection later killed one more person.)

(-Hamster)
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