Fire, Blood and Stars

Chapter 30

It was a pretty normal day in the guild. The Fairy Tail guild, that is. Yes, Jose had been tied to a table, and yes, they were scaring him into unconsciousness every time he woke up. Also, yes, they were in the process of recruiting Gajeel, who was torn between his two goals of having a guild and of staying far, far away from Natsu. And yes, Erza wasn't there, Natsu wasn't there, Lucy wasn't there, and Happy was there, but quite battered. Gray wasn't there either, he was roaming Magnolia with his newfound fan.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a normal day at all.

But it was a pretty normal day in the guild. The Bloody Fang guild, that is. Well, not exactly. Samael was coming back from a job after a considerable amount of time.

"Oi, Sam! How far is your body?" Rueben asked the decapitated head.

"Just a few more minutes, Rueben. Relax, will you?" replied the head.

Elizabeth bent down to the head's level and asked in a perverted manner, "So, did you run into any trouble?"

The head shook itself. "You're just asking whether I'm going to be shirtless when I come in, right?"

Elizabeth looked affronted. "What? No! I was just asking about your well-being."

The head sighed. "Liz, first of all, I am a vampire, there is nothing that can hurt me. Second of all, you know I'm effectively immortal if my head isn't attached to my body. So the only reason you could be asking this would be if you had a camera badly hidden", Liz's hands immediately went under her skirt to the camera as she frowned, "and wanted to take a picture of me shirtless."

"Okay, okay, fine! Are you shirtless or not?"

"Well, I was, but now I'm gonna go to Forever 21 and get a shirt."

Liz stood up wordlessly and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Helena in her slightly upper crust, aristocratic, cold voice. Both Liz and Beth felt that she would make an amazing dominatrix.

Elizabeth was Liz and Lisbeth was Beth.

"To burn down the store before he gets there."

"Dammit Liz! It took us months to find Forever 21! Do you know how many weeks I had to stay shirtless after you burned down Hot Topic?" asked Soren.

"Two weeks and three days in one go", said Maria promptly, looking proud.

"Seven weeks and five days in total", added Rumia, licking her lips.

"Dammit you two, get off me!"

Liz laughed. "Oh, right, I remember that! Remember how shy Beth was?"

"I know right!", said Samael's head. "She kept the same shirt on and refused to go on any jobs to keep it in one piece. You'd almost think there was someone she felt embarrassed in front of." The last part was said with a suggestive eyeroll, and Beth shrunk into herself, holding her knees to her chest.

"Oh, shut it, you two", said Helena as she put an arm around Beth's shoulders and mussed her blue hair. "Don't listen to them, Beth. I thought it was adorable."

Lisbeth squeaked and went red very, very slowly.

"My body's here!", said the head, excitedly. Everyone immediately covered their ears as the door blasted open. A headless body walked in, looking quite funny. He had on a pair of torn and dirty pants, but his shirt was obviously new. It had Forever 21 written on it in capital letters.

The body walked up to the head and placed it on his neck. His eyes opened and he grinned.

"I forgot how good that felt. It's been too long!" He looked at Liz and smirked as she pouted. "I would have come shirtless, but I'm not an exhibitionist."