The Melody of Pip Winter

7: Suonare Pour

(WARNING: trauma)

It was the weekend and Pip was making breakfast. It was his scheduled day and his mother was acting awfully smug as she pulled faces from the table. Pip was making poached eggs with haloumi. He had been vegetarian since his vegan cousin showed him a traumatising video. His mother finally agreed to join him when she couldn't force him to eat her dinners.

At first she was reluctant but now she was another reason he kept up the diet. It didn't take long for her to change her ways, they did everything together this was just another challenge for the pair.

They walked the same path but never did Pip let himself break in front of her, he didn't even let himself shatter in front of himself.

He served the eggs and placed the haloumi in the pan on the rusted stove. He watched as the whitish colour transformed into a brown. He fell into an apathetic hole had to be pulled out by the rising of heat. He grabbed the haloumi without thinking and tossed it onto the plates burning his long fingers.

Pip ran his fingers under the cool tap and waiting for the pain to recede. The burn in his fingers reminded him of the oozing skin and the burnt memories.

Get out.

He thought.

Get out of my head!

He begged for the visions to leave him alone. He had done such a good job of forgetting he didn't need for his hard work to be ruined. Maybe this was his karma, maybe this was what he deserved. Eventually the scorching left his mind but it still managed to prod his chest with a hot rod. He gulped down with hope the feeling would dissipate, it did not.

"Pip!" His mother called.

Pip awoke from the oceans swelling and presented the plates to the table. His mother looked pleased and he was glad. He needed the distraction. Her glowing smile slightly eased the tension in his shoulders, he could think of another that might help but pushed the though aside. His mother soaked into the food and Pip ate it slowly as his stomach filled with pain.

Eventually his mother had to take a call so he binned the remainder of the food on his plate, he had barely managed two mouth fulls. He knew he couldn't stomach food at that moment the thought already made his throat prepare to release the substance.

He washed the dishes and dried them off before placing them in their original spots. Due to the stress swirling inside him he continued to clean the kitchen. It was always a comforting distraction. He wiped the table and swept the floor listening to the music that unfolded in his mind. The loud beat of drums came in the form of repetitive words and the strumming of guitar as the profanities he yelled at himself. Saliva burned his throat like straight liquor and he drank as much resistance as he could.

He was fine. He had to be fine.

He scrubbed the countertops firmer and clenched his jaw tighter in restraint. He let out comforting breaths and closed his eyes with a tight squeeze.

Eventually his mother came back and he had managed to display a calm demeanour. She hugged him tightly despite the raw sickness it produced on his tongue. Eventually she released.

"Don't you think that bench is clean?" His mother spoke.

He gave a subtle nod and was about to go back to his room.

"Wait, Pip!" She called.

He turned back to her.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" She suggested.

After a while of her demanding debates and Pip's firm rebuffs he was forced on a treacherous and stupid activity that included too much physical activity. Sure he walked everywhere he had to go but the thought of walking for no apparent reason to no specific place was a waste of exhaustion. If had to survive life without a wink of sleep athletics weren't on the table but tea and other varieties of caffeinated beverages were. He drearily walked to his room to fetch his shoes. He pulled on his colourful socks and placed the shoes on his feet then laced then drowsily.

He waddled down the stairs and found his mother waiting for him at the table. Claudia hopped up and they both waltzed out the door. The air was cold and bled through his purple jumper. His mother rubbed the beanie on his head (which he proudly knitted!).

The pair trotted through the town and eventually the coolness wore off but the tire did not. His muscles ached and his eyes were heavy. His vision clouded with blur and he felt like he might pass out. On the way back to the flat his mother picked up on Pip's exhaustion.

"Are you alright Pip?' She asked worried.

Pip nodded slowly unable to react any quicker. His legs weakened and his pace slowed but he didn't give up.

When they made it to the front door he limped quickly upstairs. He hopped into the shower in hope it would wake him. He let the cool water run the length of his short and lean limbs. The liquid ventured the realm of his body and it was too close to touch to close to the pressure his skin had endured.

Without hesitation he halted the water and jumped out of the shower. He wrapped the rough fibers of a towel around his bony body. He slipped to the floor and folded his arms around himself. He tightened his grip in hope he would squeeze the memories out of himself. His throat tightened as he pushed down the tears and the rough pressure that he stopped from travelling his body. His knuckles went white as he pinched himself.

Firmer.

He thought that his limbs almost broke the same way he did. It deserves at least that. He deserves to be broken, he deserved to break more.

Stop.

Everything inside him ached from the restraint, everything felt like he had fell off a large building. His knees throbbed like he had been prodded with needles and his chest stung like he had lived through life remembering every sullen detail.