The Melody of Pip Winter

13: A Little Night Music

It was Monday and Pip was terrified. He had got up that morning and did what he usually did. He had taken his class the day before. He was down the stairs having a cup of tea when a knock ran over his skin in the form of cities of bumps. His feet whispered against the cool tiles as he walked towards the door. He curled his fingers around the door knob and pulled it towards himself revealing the outside world.

The door opened and standing before him was the rain and Leo. Pip wasn't surprised to see a sparking smile written on his lips. His electric eyes wide with joy.

Pip wondered how he could be so joyful when he was so afraid. Leo waddled inside and poured himself a cup of tea.

"What are you doing here?" Pip asked.

Leo was leant against the cupboards with a cup laced between his fingers.

"Walking you to school." Leo beamed.

Pip eyed him which made the boy giggle.

"I'm better now." Pip mumbled.

Leo sculled the tea and placed his cup in the sink once he was finished.

"I can still walk you to school." Leo hovered in closer.

Pip was confused. It was like there were many wires tangled inside him trying to find something to connect to. Sometimes the wires would spark little fires.

"You're going out of your way to go here." Pip stated.

Leo shrugged and picked up pips bag from the chair. He then handed it to him.

"Come on we're going to be late!" Leo rushed to the door enthusiastically.

Pip rolled his eyes before he followed after the boy. They stumbled out to the harsh world with naive smiles and loose strands of exhaustion hanging from their eyes.

"Why do you insist on walking me to school?" Pip asked.

Their feet ruffed the ground clumsily and snow covered trees lead their way. It was early February and white speckles of despair the sky's had sent swam across the ground. It was February, a horrid month filled with sickening days, one of those days being his birthday the day it rained.

"I just like to exorcise I guess." Leo smiled.

Pip stared.

"Is that why your out of breath?" Pip giggled.

This made Leo smile even wider, yellowed teeth poked through his chilled lips.

"I'm glad you decided to show off your laugh again." Leo hummed.

This made a sharp prick of discomfort drill through his cheeks and embed itself in his stomach. He eyed the ancient concrete self-consciously.

"Did you know the world is the third planet from the sun?" Leo mused.

The words eradicated the plummeting feeling within him and replaced it with something light and intangible. Pip laughed.

"You look a lot older than I thought you were." Pip spoke joyously, how odd.

Leo choked up the sun rays as an enrapturing chuckle spilled from his throat.

"You know I have a bad memory." Leo bumbled.

Pip turn to face him as they trotted along. His face was filled with a dull source of light, happy but in a calm and intoxicated manner.

"I don't remember much from when I was twelve I remember that." He smiled again.

Pip understood. He couldn't explain to himself what the words meant but his chest thrummed like the Meaning was familiar. Pip would sometimes think about how words could mean nothing without more words, he would think about how some people don't make sense by themselves.

"Sometimes you speak in a different language." Pip stated.

Leo watched him.

"What might be odder is that sometimes I understand it." Pip returned his gaze to the pavement.

What surprised Pip was that for the rest of their strange and slightly (very) confusing walk Leo did not speak another word. They walked in understanding nothing more and it was quite peaceful. The stroke of bliss didn't linger much longer because when they reached the gates all the draining fear returned. Patrick stood before them with a menacing stare. He wasn't really scary but he was a reminder of something much more frightening.

"What do you want?" Leo said neutrally.

Patrick still had an alarming black eye.

"Please don't hurt him because of me." Pip squeaked fearfully.

Patrick chuckled, unlike Leo's whimsical laugh it sounded like Patrick was vomiting up demons.

"He earned this punishing on his own accord." Patrick spat.

Pip didn't let his confusion wonder much longer than a moment before Leo was being catapulted into a brick wall opposite the gates. Patrick cursed many lines of awful profanities before Pip managed to weave between them. The shrill yells and the loud thunder of bruised skin laced with the memories bleached into his scalp. Pip pried himself into reality, the reality that was that second not the old reality that still followed him. Leo was lifeless, emotionless and dull all things he was normally the opposite of. His body was planted against the wall by strong arms. Pip was between them but wasn't making much of a difference.

Pip pushed all of the unwanted emotion in to his weak arms and pushed Patrick off of Leo. Pip didn't achieve much but the boy did stumble back.

"Sorry." Pip mumbled.

Sorry. He had heard that word many times. Many times he did not want to hear it. After his skin had been bruised after his tears had been held back after he was so close death. Those words would follow him. 

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Most words didn't make sense by themselves because they had no meaning. Sorry was a word that made too much sense because it had many meanings.

Some seconds lasted years and some words weighed tons. Keys jumbled together and made a brutal sound with the same word that would never leave him. He promised himself the memories that teared him apart wouldn't come back. He promised. Pip already knew promises were bullshit but he thought that his promise meant more than that, he thought he was more reliable.

Pip could only hear the screams. The quaking yells that sunk through his skin. Pip could only see the terror he thought he had escape, the terror he had created. Pip could only feel the cold blunt object he had held not that long ago when he had ruined everything.

Sorry! I'm so sorry I didn't mean too!

Please he begged. The plea made it worse the more he thought the more he remembered.

Please say something! Please do something!

The loud clang as the heavy tool dropped to the ground bore through his ears.

Breathe! Get up!

The unmoving limbs.

The silence.

The blood.

He remembered it all.