"Secrets are Made to be Kept" Osamu Dazai x Reader x Chuuya

Addicted to Him

ATTENTION! This chapter contains mature content!

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Dazai immediately raised his voice as he spoke to Chuuya. "Get out of my house." Chuuya gave a cold hard glare back to him in return and grabbed my shoulder, pushing me against him, attempting to protect me. "I am not leaving until I know for a fact that y/n is safe." he said firmly. I put my hand on the center of his chest to feel his heartbeat as he spoke, it was unexpectedly quick. Was he scared? I knew this wouldn't end well and I didn't want Chuuya to get hurt. "It's okay, Chuuya, you should leave." I say interrupting Dazai. Chuuya quickly turned his head toward me and all I saw as I looked back at him was worry and a deep sadness lingering in his eyes, and a soft frown.

I picked his hat up off the side of the bed and put it on his head. Dazai only gave me a disgusted look, but I could tell behind it was pure jealousy, he didn't like Chuuya being around for the known fact that we liked each other. Chuuya stood up off the bed. "Okay, I guess i'll see you later then y/n." he said softly as he turned and walked just slightly past Dazai. I almost teared up before running after and hugging him ever so tightly. I didn't want to let go of him, he gave me comfort and protection. He laid his arms gently around my lower waist in return. "Hey, i'll miss you okay, I hope we can see each other again soon- and please, for the love of god, please stay safe." he said quietly as his lips were closely in contact with my ear. I smiled and nodded back to him before letting go.

Chuuya walked a bit more before opening the door and walking out. I sighed and rubbed my tired eyes. "I don't want him here if i'm not around. Do I make myself clear?" I heard Dazai say before I turned back around. His tall, slim figure was hovering directly over me. My heart started to race, I was afraid. This man scared me, possibly even more than Mori himself. I nodded obediently, but this time I couldn't walk away, he was too close. Dazai kept his gaze directly on me, and he didn't move. I started to become more and more uncomfortable.

He placed his hand under my chin and forced my gaze upon his. "I said, do I make myself clear." he repeated. The words were said in a lower tone, a serious one. "Yes, sir-" I say, choking back obvious tears. "Good, that's much better. You're under my control, don't you forget that alright?" he continues, now adding in a soft smile. Why is he like this? What happened? I let out a sigh before sliding past him. Immediately after I slipped out he swiftly took his hand around my waist turning me toward him.

"Dazai what the hell." I say with an angered tone. "Can I kiss you?" Dazai said. There was no emotion of expression in his voice, it was blant, lifeless. "What kind of question is that? Where is this coming from?" I say startled. "Just answer the question." he says. I looked at him deeply in his eyes, his chocolate brown gaze staring me down, I didn't know what to say, I was so- lost? I wasn't thinking at all. I grabbed his face and collided my lips against his.

My heart danced in my chest and Dazai intertwined my hair with his gentle hands. His lips were soft, cloud-like, but they were magical. Slowly he had backed me against the wall as we kissed. His dark chocolate locks brushed against my face ever so gently and his arms held me close to him. His cold hands slid slowly up my shirt, and I didn't tell him to stop. Did I really want this? Soon enough, we ended up back in his bedroom. Dazai's bedroom. He laid me down carefully on his bed and positioned himself on top of me.

He took off his long coat and vest, he was about to undo his shirt . "Do you want to unbutton it?" he asks me in a soft, but seductive tone. I didn't respond, instead I did it without a thought or hesitation. Underneath his shirt were bandages, they wrapped around his chest down to his torso, only a little bit of skin peaked out here and there, but there was a gap from his lower chest to his lower waist. He slipped his shirt off and gently tossed it away to the floor.

His bandages unraveled slightly without the support of his clothing around them and his soft brown hair dropped over his face as he leaned toward me. He slipped my shirt off without any struggle at all, his hands still cold. His lips were close to mine and his soft brown hair dropped over his eyes. His hands had found their way down to my lower waist and his slender fingers gently and carefully started to tug down at my pants.

He smiled slyly towards me and kissed me as he unzipped his neatly ironed, creamy-white work pants. Before long, we were both bare bodied against each other. My hand was tangled in with his dark brown locks, and our lips were like magnets for the other. He had brought the blanket on the top of us and he started to move his lips down to my neck, leaving love marks in the most visible of places. His gentle lips against my soft skin felt magical.

He slowly worked his way down, carefully and delicately, before his face was directly between my legs. He had stopped and made eye contact with me, grinning slightly. My breathing felt heavier, my heart raced. It had been a moment, before he started sucking softly on my inner thigh. Soft moans escaped from my mouth, I had been embarrassed. I let this man do whatever he wanted to me and I didn't stop him, and I had no idea why. His touch was tempting, his lips, his eyes.

He had just barely rubbed against me before I had finally had the courage to tell him stop. I loved this feeling between us, I really did, but no matter what it still never felt right. Dazai jerked his head up toward me, his expression was confused but there was still a needy, desperate look longing in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable doing this." I said softly. The truth being, I wanted Chuuya to be my first. Dazai slowly sat back up and beside me, respecting my wish. "It's okay, I understand." he said, covering up a sigh. He slid a pair of grey sweatpants on and got back into the bed. "At least, stay here for a while?" Dazai said in a soft tone.

I nodded with a light grin. I had put my shirt back on, as well as my pants and got back under the covers. Dazai and I laid beside each other, and after a while I felt his arms pull me against him, the warmth comforted me. Eventually I can only assume Dazai had fallen asleep, his breathing became steady and his body was more still. It was probably around 11pm/ 23hr, and I laid there, still awake. I was thinking about Dazai, no, not about him, but his way of thinking, why he does the things that he does.

I was thinking about why he wanted me here so much, and why it was such a big deal that I was always around Chuuya. It couldn't be that he was just jealous, he had to have wanted something. No, if he had wanted something I would know by now. What exactly are his objectives, what does he want with me? I laid in thought, confused. I felt a gentle touch of Dazai's hand stroke my hair. "If you're thinking about my reasons, I think it's best you stop. You won't figure me out, you never will." I turned my head slightly, surprised to see that Dazai was awake. His voice was soft spoken, he was obviously tired.

"Right." I say in response. I turn my head back to the side. What the hell, there's no way he could have just guessed what was going through my head. I tried to close my eyes and sleep but instead I stayed up with my mind blank. Before I knew it, there was a light peeking from the window. The sun had already begun to rise and the orange glow highlighted the room. I was exhausted and didn't get an ounce of sleep. I felt Dazai toss and turn a bit throughout the night.

I opened my eyes and gazed at the window with the warm light seeping through. It was comforting to my view and it made me feel safe. I rolled out of bed and went back to my room, shuffling through my clothes in the cupboard. I picked out a white vest with a black turtleneck underneath and baggy jeans. It was probably a little bit too early to be getting ready for the day but I decided since I couldn't sleep this would be better.

I took the keys and my wallet and roamed the streets of Yokohama until I passed by a small coffee shop nearby.

You guys, I am so so sorry. I published a new chapter and apparently some people couldn't see it. I am republishing so if you are one of the few people who already read this you don't need to worry about it. Sorry for the difficulties.