"Secrets are Made to be Kept" Osamu Dazai x Reader x Chuuya

Pushing Them All Away

TW: This chapter contains mentions of Suicide and Mature Content. 

play the song above throughout the chapter if you'd like :)

Question: Should I end this story sad or happy? Not saying i'm ending any time soon I just need to know for the future.

I was shocked that he had said that aloud, of course it was kind of expected after what Dazai had told me. "Chuuya.." my expression saddened as I said his name. "Just don't say anything, I sound like an idiot, I'm not expecting you to love me back or anything I just wanted to say it, besides it's not like it matters anyway, not with Dazai keeping you to himself all the time."

I sighed. "That's not what I'm worried about right now, if you want an honest answer Chuuya, I love you too. I hate the way things have to be and I wish it could be different, but I promise I can figure it out in time, I swear. Chuuya seemed surprised, though I don't honestly know why, I thought it was pretty clear I liked him the one night. For a second I heard a quiet crash from outside, and saw a faint shadow on the blocked windows.

"Wait, are you actually being serious? This isn't just some stupid story you made up to make me feel better about myself right? I swear to god you-" I quickly met my lips with his. I needed him quiet, something felt off, someone was creeping up on us from outside. I kept my lips locked with his but let go for a couple small seconds. "Go against the back of the door" I whispered against his ear. Within a short amount of time, he had backed up against the door as I had told him. We continued to kiss, staying quiet as the person's figure shadowed the covered windows.

A couple minutes had passed before a faint knock came across the door. Chuuya immediately looked back and turned his body around with him. I stayed with my knees on both sides of Chuuya's legs. "What the hell.." Chuuya said under his breath. "What do you want?" there was nothing but silence from the outside, and the figure disappeared. We stayed there for many more minutes waiting for the figure to come back, but it never did.

Chuuya turned back around to me and kissed me again, continuing from where he had left off before being interrupted. His hands were stained cold from the rain as they ran up against my waist. I felt another hand grab against my throat. "Wait- Chuuya.." I said, and a scared look painted my face. "It seems you've both forgotten about me, you didn't even care to call me after it rained down so hard on you." Dazai's breath was hard against the back of my neck, his soft lips almost touching my skin.

"What the HELL man?!" Chuuya said angrily, the red glow around him was bright, it highlighted and brought out his soft facial features almost perfectly, but it only lasted a few seconds. Dazai slid his gentle hand across Chuuya's torso. "Calm down now would you. I'm not here to hurt either of you, just a little upset you didn't call me to bring spare clothes or pick you up." he smiled dangerously. "But I am curious, what exactly are you two doing here, and more specifically, in this position? y/n you're right on top of Chuuya's lap, you probably shouldn't lie."

His hand was still tightly gripped around my neck, but his face was closer to mine, close enough for my eyes to meet his, his dark, intimidating, cold stare. "You're right I shouldn't lie to you." The corners of my lips turned up. If he was going to play this game so was I. I took the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. Chuuya looked confused, and frustrated. "You want the truth baby? I'll tell you then." I smirked. "Chuuya and I were just about to make love to each other. I was kissing him, because I love him, I want to be with him forever. We were even making plans to meet up in secret."

The amusement quickly slid off of Dazai's face, his smirk had quickly become clenched teeth with straight lips. His gaze was cold. I stayed looking directly at him, I was enjoying this, seeing Dazai jealous, and upset. It was so.. fun. "What the hell y/n, you're pissing him off, this isn't going to end the way you want, you know that right?" Chuuya said quickly. "Obviously." I responded, but of course I knew this from the start, I just chose not to care anymore.