New Found Love(gxg)

Chapter 14 - Janitor's closet

I have no energy as I walked inside the school, I haven't gotten any sleep. Some students still stares at me but they can stare all they want, honestly I think their over reacting. And here I thought most people nowadays are open minded. Or maybe because the person involved is Alicia. I don't know if I'm gonna see her today but I really want to check on her.

"Hey, you look like a zombie", it was April leaning on the locker.

"Good morning to you too", I snorted.

"Have you talked to her?", she ask and I shook my head frustrated.

I was chatting with April last night and she knows I keep calling Ali. Why won't she answer, I texted her to know it was me calling. I don't know what to think, all I know is that I feel a pit in my stomach. The bell rang so we walked to our 1st period, I've been dreading it coz I know I pissed some classmates but they pissed me off too.

"Hey Mavis", a girl I come across the hallway smiled at me. I don't think I know her but I gave her a small smile. She looked sincere. She seems to want to say more but class is about to start.

April nudge me in the rib, I looked at her and she smiles at me teasingly. I just frown at her. We got inside the class, me, ignoring the menacing looks from the guys I pissed. Like I give a fuck. I keep staring at Ali's seat. Still hoping.

Then when the teacher is about to start she showed up. At last, I feel so relieved. Everyone stares at her but no one says anything coz the teacher is already standing in front watching everyone. She seems hesitant but silently occupy the seat in front of me. I wish she would look at me. I feel like she's avoiding my gaze. I sighed. Later I will make sure to corner her.

.....

When the bell rang Alicia got up quickly and heads to the door before anyone could react. I glance at April then quickly followed Alicia.

"Ali", I called her she walk faster than normal. "Ali, wait", she still doesn't answer. I checked the lobby there's only us in this corner at the moment so I quickly grabbed her and I open another door which is the Janitor's closet and locked it. Thankful that there's a light switch coz it's dark in here.

"Let go of me", Ali pulled her hand, massaging her wrists.

I raise both my hand, "I'm sorry, but why are you ignoring me? I've been calling you yesterday", I roamed my eyes around her face, I missed her. It took everything in me to stop myself from hugging her. She looked so fragile at the moment. There's bags under her eyes she probably didn't get enough sleep too. I wish I could take away all her worries.

"Have you seen the video?", she ask bitterly.

"No, I've been busy tracking you down. Just ignore them please, I'm sure after a few weeks people will forget about it or at least it wouldn't be a big deal anymore", I am being careful with my words but I don't think I succeeded.

"People won't forget, I'm not gay", she said exasperated. "People now think that I am, also for some reason they know that Terrence and I are not together anymore", she added.

I flinch at what she said, then I felt a pang of jealousy, "So you were a couple?". I know she's straight but, I feel like somehow she does like me. It's hard to explain I just feel it. She doesn't have to put label on herself.

"Yes we were, but I broke up with him about a month ago", she said in a small voice.

I sighed. It doesn't matter now if they were once a couple, they broke up. She broke up with him and I am curious to know why. "Please don't let them get to you", I pleaded. I hate seeing her in distress.

"Easy for you to say, you have no reputation in this school", frown is still on her face and her voice raised a bit. I can see tiredness as well.

True unlike her I'm nobody, I'm just the new girl. I wanted to say 'Just tell them it was just a dare' but deep inside I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted her. Besides, she's the one who kissed me but I will never say that or put the blame on her because it was a precious moment for me. I'm being selfish I know but It's not like I can control my feelings. "What do you want me to do?"

She looked at me for a while, I felt her eyes stared at my lips for a moment made me conscious . I can see her struggling. She let out a deep breathe, then "I think it's best if we avoided each other". She looked down.

My eyes widen as I stared at her. I didn't expect that, I felt pain slice through me. I felt myself panicking. "No, no", I mutter while shaking my head.

She looked at me, I can see her having a hard time as well but didn't say anything.

"I don't want to, please", I'm so pathetic I know but everything in me is shouting in protest. She still didn't say anything, she avoided my pleading look. "I like you, I like you a lot", I'm having trouble breathing as I say those words.

She looked at me, sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry", she muttered then quickly turn around and leave.

I can't even move. I wanted to follow her but I feel numb. Next thing I knew, I was crying. It hurts a lot. I wanted to go after her, but what rights do I have? We're not even considered friends. We're classmates, hang out at the party, me pathetically trying to flirt every chance I got. I feel hopeless. I can't believe this. This pain is suffocating me. I stayed there for a while sobbing, I know that I'm already late for class and honestly I can't show up like this. My eyes is red, and my tears won't stop falling.

I don't know how long I stayed here, my phone keep buzzing but I'm ignoring it. I decided to go out after a while and headed straight to my car. I can't believe this is happening, I feel my heart broken again but this time it's different. It's like a part of me was taken. I stayed in my car for a bit crying my heart out. This is not what I want, I want to be close to her, take my chance with her. I said to myself before that I don't stand a chance but blame my stupid heart for still hoping and this is what I get. I feel so pathetic.

After a while I left the school and went home, directly headed to my room. I ignored the confuse looks of our house keepers. I didn't see my grandmother probably she's out which I was thankful. I lie in bed thinking, I know I should just let it go and do what she says but part of me is protesting. But I cannot force her or she would end up hating me which I don't think I can take.

I sighed, I needed something to do, something to channel all my sorrows and frustrations or else I'm gonna go crazy. I got up and went to the music room. As I opened the door I remember her, how she made me play for her. I was nervous back then, I've played a thousand times and I know all keys even with eyes closed but still felt anxious and afraid to make mistakes. Thankfully I didn't and she seems to have enjoyed it.

I sat on the chair slowly feeling each keys. Then as if my fingers have it's own mind it presses on the keys and I let it, poured my heart out. It was a song fits for what I'm feeling right now called crying alone. I let myself got lost in the music.