"Be Still, Just for Me" {Bakugo x Reader}

Days 34 and 35

Please see end of chapter for notes.

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No nightmares came to him that night. Instead, in the comfort and warmth of your bed with you at his side, exhaustion brought forward emotions personified, scenes of swirling colors and varying shapes like rainbow oil sliding across shimmering water. The silhouettes seemed familiar, forms molding and turning and twisting before the image changed and displays of endlessly folding fractals of color played to music he couldn't hear.

He was so tired after such an awful day that he didn't wake at all, and neither did you, for nearly twelve full hours. Only after lying in bed for a good fifteen minutes trying to fall back asleep did Katsuki give up and give in to the early autumn light cascading in through your bedroom window. Always stubborn, he refused to open his eyes and instead focused on the warmth nestled snugly beside him. Comfortable. Calm. Relaxed. Such a stark contrast to the night before... and that's when everything came rushing back.

His shitty, selfish behavior. His hurtful words. His confused inner struggle regarding love and his eventual acceptance of an emotion that could and nearly did destroy him from the inside out. The fact that you reserved forgiveness for everything. That you didn't hate him was a miracle in and of itself. Small blessings considering this was potentially the last day he might ever get to spend with you.

A ruby eye opened and took in the sight of your sun-scattered hair splayed across your pillow. Despite keeping your distance last night, the two of you still somehow managed to end up tangled together, legs entwined and your arms pinned to his chest. Memorize this, he told himself, basking in the visual spectacle. However, as much as he craved this closeness, Katsuki wanted actual conversation today as opposed to the agitated silence from yesterday. When someone as bad with words as Bakugo Katsuki wanted to actually talk to someone, it was truly a serious situation.

Moving his arm from around you did the job of stirring you awake... well, for a moment, anyway because you immediately nuzzled closer with a small whine as if offended that he dared to try and pull away. With an affectionate sigh, Katsuki brought his arm back around before winding his fingers through your hair. Even if it had only been one day, a time without these small moments was too long.

But one day was all he had left, and the ache would find its way back to him like a lost pet following the scent of home through winding and windy rain.

One day. Make it count.

Eventually, with his fingers tangled in your hair, you groaned and peeked one sleepy eye open to glance up at him. He wasn't sure if you'd frown and move away upon realizing that the distance you attempted to keep lasted only until both of you fell asleep. Tensing and pausing his movements, Katsuki waited for your judgment.

But you didn't pull away or scoff at the closeness. Instead, you sighed, opened your other eye still slightly obscured by your pillow, and said with a small smile, "Ohayo, Katsuki."

An awkwardness hung in the air like unseen dust particles as the two of you, after a few more minutes of laying in bed and sleepy conversation, got dressed for whatever the day presented. It felt like meeting him all over again, starting from a previous save point after your last one became corrupted, forcing you to backtrack while all your memories and feelings remained intact.

As much as you wanted to immediately forgive him, to spend this last day or two laughing and smiling before Katsuki returned home for good, it was impossible to just forget about it all so easily. The best you could hope for was to ease into the day one step at a time. There was much you wanted to talk about, a lot you wanted to ask since you knew that soon all you could do was speculate without him to provide answers.