Guns and Roses

Ch 43

Luca wheeled me into the beautiful glassy house that was on a secluded side of the beach.

"This is our new home baby. I had an elevator specially installed, because, you know. There's 4 floors, the third floor being our bedroom, 2nd floor with other bedrooms, first floor being kitchen etc, and basement being gameroom and other things." He said.

I didn't respond.

I felt so not normal.

I felt useless

I couldn't cook, I cant dance, I cant even use the bathroom by my fucking self.

Luca noticed my sadness as tried to comfort me.

"It's okay baby, we're gonna get through this."

The moonlight shined through the glass windows. Luca turned the lights on to reveal a beautiful kitchen.

"What do you want for dinner?" He questioned.

"I don't wanna eat."

"Chicken it is!" He said enthusiastically.

I rolled myself to the kitchen table and placed myself where there was an empty space.

Luca came back an hour latter with chicken and rice.

"I hope you like it. we can take a bath after dinner." He said blandly.

I didn't respond.

"Baby, I'm trying to make this as normal as possible, and I want you to be comfortable. I want you to be happy." He said, holding my hand.

I just sighed and began to eat.

After an awkward hour, he ran a bath for us and we sat in complete silence, contemplating out new found lives.

"What's the percentage that I can walk again." I asked randomly

"2 % chance."

Luca began to wash me. When he got to my vagina, I felt so upset when I couldn't feel anything he was doing.

Even if it was a subtle touch, I used to be able to feel his hands.
But now I cant even feel.
Instead on doing something, he just kept cleaning me

That's not like him.

We dried off and he took me to bed, and cuddled with me the whole night.

-4 months later-

"Come on baby, you have to eat. I'm not leaving you until that plate is empty." Luca said.

The last four months have been hell on earth.

I tried to take the easy way out, with no success. I'd just been put on suicide watch, and all the knives, utensils, pills, etc were taken away from me.

I don't understand how Luca put up with me. I fussed, hit, and yelled at him, but he took it.

I'm a horrible wife.

I asked him about my father multiple times, but he just wouldn't tell me.

I wanted to know if the fucked who ruined my life was dead or alive.

"I'm not hungry."

"Astrid, you've lost so much fucking weight, your damn near 115 pounds, that's a whole middle schooler. Baby, just eat, they'll put a feeding tube in, and it hurts 10 times worse with your gold." He pleaded.