ATEEZ one shots

(🕊️: "was it an accident?" (psh & khj))

park seonghwa & kim hongjoong
박성화 & 김홍중

the atmosphere in the room was calm. but the past hour, it wasn't that calm. the two men were on the sofa. one - the older, Seonghwa - was sitting on it. the other - the younger, Hongjoong - layed down and rested his head in the other's lap.

"what did you do that, Hong?" asked the older. but he first got any response, besides the sight of the younger trying to control his breathing. his back was showing his upper breathing which was quite twitchy. "why didn't you call me..?"

Hongjoong shrugged. it was a little movement, and if Seonghwa didn't look carefully, he would have not noticed it.

"you need to talk to me. i can't help you properly if you don't tell me what's going on inside your head, Hong.."
the youngest sighed, and eventually layed down on the back this time. he looked up to Seonghwa. but he soon felt ashamed, and ended up looking down. "i'm so lost.." his voice cracked.

no more sounds in the room. it was quiet. Hongjoong, ashamed, didn't dare to look again at Seonghwa's face. and the oldest felt almost betrayed his friend didn't call him and started to destroy himself instead.

around the room, some folded tissues were scattered. they all held Hongjoong's tears. and added to the fact the night was coming and not a single lamp was on, the atmosphere seemed both calm and apocalyptic. it was gloomy. the only thing that was moving was a curtain because of the opened window. even Hongjoong's twitchy breathing wasn't enough to break the silence.

"Hongjoong, please, say something. something else than that. it makes me feel like you feel deeply alone but if you really were alone, i wouldn't be here.."

with that, the youngest started to cry again. first, he tried to control his sobs and breathing - he tried. because his emotional state quickly turned into something he couldn't control anymore. he was crying as much as he could and he was suffocating.
all his fears, his stress and his anxiety took the control of his body.

Seonghwa was quick to react. he took an another tissue to wipe his tears away and told him to get up from his lap.
he knew pretty well Hongjoong would not want to go out even though he was forcing him. and to be honest, Hongjoong didn't seem to be in the appropriate state to do so.

Seonghwa got up after Hongjoong sat up on the sofa, and started to clean the room from all the tissues.

"listen Hong.. i know you really well now.." he started to say as he crouch by his friend's feet. "you need love to balance the equation. to take the control over your fears. it's hard when someone you love leave you, and it's even harder when this person was helping you dealing with your personal problems. but there is ALWAYS a end to every tunnel. and then the light comes back." Seonghwa turned on a night-light which was projecting stars on the ceiling. it was something Hongjoong was still using to calm down, even though he was now 22 years old and got it when he was 5.

Hongjoong was looking at Seonghwa. his sobs stopped. Seonghwa first didn't notice his gaze since he was looking at the ceiling, staring at the stars. but he soon felt the man's gaze on him. shyly - Seonghwa was someone very shy, even though he felt comfortable around Hongjoong - he looked at the other too. he wasn't sure about this. was it a good idea?

"t-there is a little bit of light now.. thanks to the stars.. from the night-light, i mean.." Seonghwa was clearly troubled by Hongjoong's gaze.