In Need Of Wings

Until Eternity

Hey guys!!

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                             Mallika

I felt traumatized. I neither could speak nor react. I had an expressionless and emotionless face. I don't know what to do? What to react?

Jiju continued to narrate further,"Even though she said so much about him and his family, he didn't even react. She went away with Karan, never turned around to just look at his face and his state. I was the only one who got to know about this, since I was standing behind Sumedh in the same corner. Chachi was searching for Sumedh. He couldn't face her, he drove away from the party. He had gone to our home. He locked himself in his room. I ran behind him to ensure his safety. It took almost 3-4 hours to convince him to open the door. The sight of his room expressed how hurt he was. Ashes of papers, I guess pages from his diary were burnt. Flower vases broken, clothes haphazardly lying all over the room and books too.

I kept my hands on his shoulders and he looked straight into my eyes. I could see emotions brimming out of his eyes. His eyes said all those things which his mouth couldn't. I too didn't know what to speak, so I hugged him tightly and so did he. I tried to give him a bit comfort. I can just narrate the whole conversation, which I can't even forget today,

"Why did she do like this bro? Why did she? She even blamed my family. I had sacrificed so much for her. I used to give her upmost importance in my life. I used to cancel all the commitments and programs for her, JUST for her sake. She said that I never gave her space and respect. She said that I bossed around her! But she was the one who did. I used to feel, sometimes, that she controlled and bossed around me and she's blaming me for the same reason. First of all why the hell did she come in my life? Why did she come and distort my whole freaking happy and beautiful life? Even though Mumma, didn't like her I had tried to make Mumma reconsider her decision. I agree that at the beginning I had no feelings for her. When we went on dates frequently, I tried to understand and accept her. I even enjoyed her company. I was trying to accept her as a companion of my life.
I wasn't knowing that she was this mad behind money. I wasn't knowing that she was this hungry for riches." He completed with a hiccup and I realized that he hadn't had anything since a while. He not even drank a glass of water after that incident. I gave him some water and brought some fruits. But he refused to eat anything. Somehow I forcibly made him eat few pieces of apple.

That night passed as though as an year, he was very much into his own thoughts, I sat next to him and he was lying on bed. At last, he drifted into sleep. From that day to next one week, Sumedh was very silent, didn't laugh, didn't eat properly, didn't even talk to others of the family properly. He was into his own world. Lost in his own thoughts and ruminated in them.
I tried so much, ask what I haven't done! I tried many ways to get him out of this, I knew it would be difficult but wasn't knowing, it would be that hellish. I was very scared of him that what would happen if he goes into depression. Chachi and Ma sensed that something was wrong, after lot of pleadings and threats by them, I told everything about what happened. Chachi couldn't control the state of her son and hence she broke down. Many times she too didn't eat anything when he refused to eat.
Sumedh wanted his 'me' time hence went to our farm house. I still remember, one day he came from the farmhouse after staying there for a week, That moment still flashes in front of my eyes. I can say the exact lines of he uttered that day,
"Bhai, thank you for supporting me to overcome one of the tough phases of my life. These days I was into my own griefs and musings that I totally forgot about my family. I had totally forgotten about my loving parents and you all. I'm very sorry bhai. I know you'll be thinking the reason of my change in behavior within a week. You know, we have a beautiful RadhaKrishna statue in our farmhouse right? I hadn't, until few days back, keenly observed it. That day I was sitting in the lounge and my eyes went over beautiful RadhaKrishna idols there, I, without my knowledge walked towards them and sat infront of them. Hours later I came back to senses. I don't know what happened, but I felt happy and relieved after a long time. My mind after a long time was stress-free. From that day, I started to read books, texts and verses on RadhaKrishna's love and life. That enlightened me about love and its perception. I could understand what love is, to some extent. I understood the difference between love, infatuation and friendship. I got to know that I was infatuated over Naina at first and later with passing of time, I accepted her as a very good friend of my life. I wasn't in love. I lost a good friend of my life not the love of my life. I also got to know that love is a feeling which we have for some special person of our life. We don't need to force us or them into that bond or relationship. Today I'm very happy that I freed myself from the clutches of my own misconceptions. I'm happy...very happy...yoohooo."

Whatever he said made me emotional that day and I gave him a long hug. I just wish him all the happiness which he deserves."
said Jiju completing his whole narrative about Sumedh's past and I'm sitting infront of them emotionless, speechless, movementless. I don't know what to say.
"After hearing this, I don't know...I'm speechless. Jiju can I also join you guys to your home back?" I asked him thinking to meet Sumedh.
"Sure, let's go." he said.

.....

I came to his house the very second time....He isn't here I guess. Di introduced me to everyone, Sumedh's mom Mrs.Saraswati Chandra forced me to eat and she even stuffed one full bread roll into my mouth...Ouch!! I can't chew....

My eyes are impatiently waiting to meet his' ....my hands want to feel his'....my breath want to mingle in his' ....What the hell am I thinking? Stupid girl.
I just looked towards Di, I guess she got to know what I wanted. She came to me whispered that Sumedh's room is on the first floor and took me with her.
She knocked the door of Sumedh's room and went away...Now where is she going? I heard him excusing me in.

Ohh man!! He looks damn hot in that sweatshirt. Oh shit shit!!
I couldn't control myself, neither my feelings nor my emotions. I ran towards him and jumped into his arms and he without any hesitation caught me tight by my waist. My arms around his tunic  and my neck in the crook of his'. Warm tears flowed down my eyes...but why? As soon as he felt my tears, his grip around my waist tightened, so did my hands. My palms clutched his sweat shirt more tightly and I snuggled into him more breaking all the barriers between us emotionally. I wanted to comfort him for what he has gone through but instead he's comforting me. I wanted this to last till eternity. I want to be with him until eternity. I wanted to take up all the sadness and harsh memories from him and give all the happiness he deserves.
Unknowingly, he turned towards me and placed a soft peck on my cheeks, making me shiver and he blushing.  Blushing? I guess this came in flow. But do friends give pecks? Yeah, may be he gave it in order to comfort me and in assurance of protection.

                 
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