Lucy Banes | ✔ UNEDITED

Chapter 43

"Morning mama bear" Luke sings as soon as my eyes open. I find him seated on one of the chairs beside my bed nursing my daughter.

"Morning" I croak. I groan at the pain in my groin as I sit upright. Damn it hurts.

"You look like shit" He comments,snorting afterwards.

Deciding to ignore him,I ask where mom and dad are. He tells me that they went to go get some food then check up on the Grey family before returning.

"I must say,she looks really adorable. I thought she'd come out hideous because that dumb ass is the father but I guess she took the looks from our side of the family. Luckily" I roll my eyes at Luke's stupidity before letting out a deep sigh. 

"Have you heard anything from Alec or Ella about Cole's condition?" I ask. He shakes his head then makes his way to me to hand my baby over once she starts whimpering.

"No. I've been in this room this whole time and no one came to inform us anything. But I'll tell you as soon as I do hear something"

I stare at her as thoughts of her father's condition run through my head. Will he make it through his surgery? Will he live long enough to witness his daughter walk down the aisle? Will he be okay?

"Don't worry,Lucy. I'm sure he's going to be okay" Luke softly says before kissing me on the forehead.

"Thanks Luke" I smile.

"No problem" He takes a seat again. "Actually,there is a problem"

"What?" I ask my eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"What is going to happen between you and Alec?" He asks and my confusion grows.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lucy. I am your brother which means I know you more that anyone. And I know that you don't feel as much for Alec as you do for Cole" His words surpise me.

Luke definitely hates Cole and vise versa. To hear Luke talk about my feelings for Cole like he is talking about the weather,it makes me feel uneasy.

I don't want to put Luke and Cole in a situation where they will both be uncomfortable.

"I don't know what your yapping about. I have no feelings for Cole whatsoever because I am with Alec. His stepbrother. Who is enough. Thank you very much" The lie slipped out of my lips like butter. I have said this so many times to my family and Ella that it has become easy to say it.

Yes,Ella has been questioning me about my feelings for her son. Awkward I know.

"You have said that lie so many times that you think your starting to believe it. I know you want Cole to be the one sitting in my spot right now. For the two of you to bicker over something small.

You wish for his health not only because his daughter is here or because he is Alec's stepbrother but because you want him to be here. I know you wish that he was the one who had taken you out on all those dates and bought you stuff instead of Alec.

Your not only lying to yourself,Lucy but to Alec too. And he is your best friend. He doesn't deserve to be second best and you know it. You know he deserves someone who will put him first and not someone who is in love with someone else. Not to be mean but you should have thought about it properly before you jumped into a relationship with Alec" Luke's words hit me straight in the heart and my body floods with guilt.

He is right. I'm practically dragging Alec along just because I wish Cole was the one to give me all this affection and attention. I wish for Cole to be the one to cuddle with me and watch disney movies with me.

It is wrong of me to do this to Alec and I should have realised that sooner. Alec deserves the best. Nothing but the best. I can't and will never be able to give him that. I should have thought about this before I imagined Alec as Cole and accepted when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

How selfish could I be? Wishing for Alec to be Cole instead. Alec has done nothing but love me and provide me with the care I need yet I took it all for granted. I'm so fucking selfish.

My selfishness has put Cole in danger and Alec in a relationship he doesn't belong in.

"Thank you,Luke" I whisper,willing the tears to not fall yet they betray me too. "Thank you for being the honest brother that you are" I sob.

My heart breaks at the realisation of what I've done. I don't deserve Alec. I don't even deserve his forgiveness.

I hug my baby closer to me and let out quiet sobs to not wake her up. My baby doesn't deserve a selfish mother like me.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

》》

"Hey" Alec whispers once he enters the room. My heart clenches at the sight of him.

His hair is sticking up in different angles as though he was running his hand one too many times in it. His eyes are droopy and red with unshed tears while his whole posture screams with exhaustion.

This doesn't look like my best friend. Heck will he even want to be my best friend after all of this?

The thought alone scares me. I need Alec. He has supported me through everything I've done and he is always there for me. He took my side before he even knew what was going when we met for the first time.

He even stood up against Cole for me even though he had admitted to being scared of him.

Maybe it's best if I let him go. As both a girlfriend and a best friend. I'm sure he will find someone better than me,he is quite a social butterfly and people love him.