𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟷𝟸 ; 𝙸𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟷𝟸 ; 𝙸𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Dear, Lawrence                                November 24, 1887

It's one hour until midnight.... you're dead asleep in your room I hope. I'm home for once, hearing the silence of my house instead of the silence of yours. Just hearing dad struggling to breathe in the next room over. As usual. He's gonna go soon.... it doesn't hurt as much as I imagined it would. Maybe because he's been half dead for a year... I just wish mom was back to save him. Just seeing her would make him so much more lively. He'd stand right back up I swear....

That's what you do to me Lawrence... you make me happy whenever I'm near you and I get jealous when other people are near you. And I don't get nervous when you're around, instead I get scared to say something wrong. I don't wanna lose you and I feel like I am more and more everyday.

I wish I chose you when I was 19 Lawrence. I wish I saw that the fact that presley was going to be an astounding nurse wasn't everything the world had to offer. Because the world has you Lawrence and I feel like I can finally admit that I was never over you and I don't think I will be.

I just wish I was with you....

I don't know what will happen if I ever express my feelings again Lawrence... I don't know what you feel and god I don't know what your family feels other than Avery.

And Avery always told me I could have Presley but not you, you were his twin sister, his favorite and the one he would always protect. I cant blame him. I'm scared of hurting you too...

Did I ever hurt you Lawrence? Remember when I was 19... in my head already dedicated to Presley even though I could've switched over to you in a heartbeat, and you asked me if I'd ever love you the same amount I love Presley or love Avery. Remember when I said no....

That was a lie.

I'll make it up to you Lawrence. I was just scared. Remember that....

Love, Tate.

𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸
listen to the song above for the best vibes of this chapter!!

I sat in the grass again...

The ball was two days ago, after Koremen left I never saw him and Presley and Presley is being a bit weird.

Tate hasn't talked to me...

He just comes into the house and stares at me for a few seconds before rushing into the office and drafting letters with Avery.

I respected and commended his work ethic but I couldn't handle not talking to him... I had gotten used to him being here all the time and talking to me. And now it's the 26th...

But I see him... I see him walking down the dirt path up to my house again, his journal In hand and his trench coat on. I look up at him..

my questions I asked him at the ball are still left unanswered....

And I'm still left confused and shocked that he kissed me... and even more so that he doesn't want me to kiss Koremen even though he set me up with him.

He swallows as he nears closer to me.

After we danced he just stared at me for a moment with slightly furrowed brows as he looked around seeing a few people he had business with looking at us weirdly. He let out a stressed sigh and rubbed his brow bone before dropping his strong hands from me.