𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟷𝟽 ; 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢

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𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟷𝟽 ; 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢

Dear, Lawrence December 3, 1889

Oh my beloved, how I have longed for this. To freely express my feelings and kiss you and take you away from everything else in the horrid world that could do you any harm. I've waited for so long, trying to push away and pretend but no. Finally, you're mine. It's not a drastic change I suppose since we've talked so much already but now I can finally show you how much you mean to me. And Lawrence you mean so so much.

your love, Tate.

𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸

I press his lips to mine, water dripping down my face. He pulls back for a second, holding onto my face and looking all around it. As if memorizing. A tear slips down his cheek as he kisses mine and down my jaw, peppering them all over my neck. My fingers grip through his hair and pull, kissing all over his face as he does to mine.
"You're so handsome.." I mumble, as his hands run down my body and sit on my waist.
My wet dress drags my down but he picks me up and spins me around. "I beg to say that you're so much prettier..."
My breathing is heavy but he doesn't mind as he takes off his coat and wraps it around me.
"Lawrence, will you be my girlfriend?" He asks and I laugh.
"Tatum I have to go, my mother is desperately waiting for me I can see her on the porch waving like a mad man... but of course I will be. Why wouldn't I when you love me." I say, poking fun at him.
      "I bet you'll be the first one to say that you love me." He mumbles with a smirk and I laugh, beginning to run to my mother.
       "I take those odds!"
      I blow him a kiss before I run to my mother, I smile when I reach her door, "How are you mother?"
     "Well I'm splendid and I see you are too!"
     "Truly!"

𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸

     I lay down on my bed, holding my heart and smiling into nothing. Because I got him. It's an electrifying feeling. After years and years and years of wondering and wishing that I had him and that he liked me back, he does.
And I'm oh so stubborn, way too much so to say that I love him first.
But I do... I love him.
I stand up, deciding that I'm going to his house. I can see the light radiating from his house in the dark, candles and oil lights lighting up his room and seeping out the window. I rush to his porch, walking into the pristine birch house and going up the stairs. Columbin is off on a work trip and his dad is being surrounded by multiple nurses right now, studying him before he passes. Although horrifying, it is convenient.
None of us are that sad, only because he just wants to be with his wife again. He loved her so so much...

I walk in, hearing the music broaden as I creep up the steps. "Hello?" I ask as I walk in, seeing him playing gracefully. His eyes scan the room, landing on me and smiling. He stands up quickly,  excitedly, leaning his cello against his bed and walking towards me with a large smile on his face.
"Hello, Darling.." he mumbles, grabbing onto my face and looking down at me.
He leans in, pressing his lips to mine and peppering kisses down to my collarbone. "I'm so happy I can do that now, with no worry in my head except whether I'm pleasing you-"
"Oh stop with the pleasantries! I'm stressed out... what if our parents don't agree or Avery finds out or Presley find out! Oh god Tatum I can't handle this! It's eating at me."
He furrows his eyebrows and puts a hand over my mouth to shut me up. "First off, don't call me Tatum. I'm Tate. Second, we've talked about this! I don't give one damn in the world what anybody cares about us, all that's running through my mind on repeat is just nerves. Solely because I have you Lawrence.. after my fancy of you since I was 12 and my many many mistakes... you're standing in front of me with the intention of loving me no matter the consequences. I know you'll love me no matter the consequences, Lawrence. We don't have to worry. I'm inheriting the house soon, I'll plan an engagement and I wouldn't doubt your father would give me his blessing- I'm his assistant he loves me! You don't have to worry, Lawrence. Now sit down... I'll try to teach you once again to play cello."
I sigh, knowing that I loved this man with my whole heart and my whole body. Every molecule in my body has been replaced over and over again but each one has fallen for him again. Our souls are intertwined like angels in the clouds, so far apart yet the same. 
My Angel decided my fate when I was conceived. with the knowledge of him in mind. You can't get everything in life, you receive something great from your angels and you lose something great. My mind keeps wondering because of this, staring into his eyes and searching for hope that my Angel isnt once again teasing a chance of happiness. What can be given can always be taken back, and his head could easily be turned astray. To her again... to another.
Or maybe he makes his own decisions and influences his life and others based off of his own morals... accepting consequences with grace. I can't help thinking though, maybe he's my Angel. Pulling me towards him.

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎Where stories live. Discover now