𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟸 ; 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚕

𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙻𝚊𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ; 𝟸 ; 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚕

Dear, Lawrence November 19, 1887

I'm home today... four days before your birthday Lawrence. I know that it's weird that I'm still writing to you, but it seems that I'm in the habit of writing to you. I won't ever send you these letters, I'll use them more as a diary, but I believe this'll be good. I don't show my feelings very often, I'm not allowed, but I can when I write to you and when I talk to you, or Avery, or Presley. You deal with the emotional stuff better than Avery though, and Presley is caught up with her nursing stuff. I guess I'm convincing myself it's okay to write to you, that I'm not being outrageous.

Well I have something to tell you tonight, something regarding Presley. She seems to be interested in me in the least amount possible, of course she's close to me but not close enough to want to marry me. When she's ready to marry she's supposed to propose the idea to me, we've spoke about it before, but she isn't proposing the idea. She and I are twenty two now, and you will be twenty one in four days. We must at least confirm a relationship soon enough... but she won't say anything to me regarding it. I know she wants to marry me, but I guess she's just not ready during this time. It's slightly frustrating but not enough to tempt me to anger. In the hopes I'll feel better about the matter soon,

Yours truly, Tate.

𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸

I sit in my bed, staring into nothing with my night dress on and my legs to my chest. A knock comes in on the door, and soon enough Tate walks in in his sleep wear with an unbuttoned white undershirt on top of his bare chest. His chest was red, and he instinctively scratches his chest as he walks in. It's something he does out of habit, I'm not sure why.

He walks over and sits on my bed, "Lawrence..." he greets, and I light a match and set the candle aflame. "Tate..." I mumble, slowly grabbing his hand with my left hand.

I look him in his eyes, his face barely illuminated in orange from the fire but just enough that I can see him. I drag my right hand along his cheek, tears surfacing to my eyes.

"I missed you so much Tatum, I can show you how much now that Avery won't give me the stink eye and Presley won't judge me for my closeness to a member of the opposite sex....."

"I've missed you too, Lawrence. That's why I was hoping we could go on a walk tonight, so I can talk to you. No need to change, just around the field, maybe I'll take you to the rail road? I know you love them Lawrence.."

I sniff a little, nodding and looking down at my lap. "It's just... I've known you for so long and having not seen you for two months really messed with me. I... I wasn't happy these last few months, Tate.."

I debate on telling him why. Telling him that I feel as though everybody sees me as a disappointment no matter how hard I try, but I keep my mouth shut for a minute too long and he begins his tangent.

"Oh my... I'm so sorry, Darling. You must know you mean so much to me, and that despite me being so close with the rest of your family and being the closest to Avery, you're still very dear to me. I don't know every detail inside of your brain, the most I've ever done is talk with you randomly to make you laugh or to try to practice talking to a girl for once... But I do wish to talk to you more soon enough, we could be close. And I've wanted to tell you this, but I truly want to marry Presley one day and maybe you could help me? Of course I'd owe you an arm and a leg but I do want to... I want to be with her and she's showing no interest and you know her better than anybody else!"