I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)

Chapter Sixteen: Enjoy The Rise But Beware Of The Fall

Gold and Silver have managed to move on from the events earlier in the evening. The two return to Gold's flat. There was still the clean up from dinner to do which Silver insisted on helping with. It was the perfect montage moment.

Clean up done. The pair are now lying on the couch, watching TV. Silver's head is lying on Gold's chest. He can feel his heartbeat, while Gold gently rubs his hair. This is perfect. Silver is feeling happy and relaxed. He feels he can trust Gold more and even let himself be vulnerable. Gold is happy too. The moment he's been dreaming of for years has finally come true. Silver is his. The pieces are falling into place. The whole situation with his mum is still lingering in the back of his mind though. He doesn't want it to be that way, but, it is what it is. It seems that while she's with Derek, their relationship will never be what it was before. There's nothing he can do about it. Well, nothing that he can think of just now. However, he doesn't want to dwell on that. Something more important to him and much better is happening right now. He looks down at Silver who seems quite peaceful lying on his chest. His hand running through his hair. It's so silky and soft. Bliss!

Silver tilts his head up, the two smile at each other. Then Silver speaks...

"I'm gonna need to go!"

"Aw! Really? Is it already that time?" Gold says disappointingly.

Silver nods as he stands up. Gold quickly sits up and lightly grabs onto his arm. He starts kissing Silver's hand and then kissing his way up his arm as he gently pulls him back down. Silver melts as he feels Gold's kisses make their way up his arm, before realising he had sat back down again, with Gold already kissing at his neck. Silver's toes curl as Gold nuzzles into his neck, each kiss sends tingling sensations down his whole body, making him weak. Gold doesn't stop. Silver doesn't want him to stop. It feels so good. He's clawing at Gold's back. Gold can hear him quiver. He kisses up Silver's neck, kissing his cheeks before reaching his lips. Their lips lightly touch. Silver knows that he needs to leave now to catch his train, but he wants this moment to continue, but he really needs to go...

"Gold... I really don't want this moment to end but I really need to go."

"Please, baby!" Gold pleads planting kisses on Silver's lips.

"I have to! I'll miss the last train home!" Silver reluctantly admits.

"You can stay here!"

"Not yet! Not quite ready! Besides, my mum will be home tomorrow, I really should be home for that."

Defeated. Gold nods in agreement.

The pair make their way to the train station. Gold insisting that he walks Silver to the station to see him off.

A familiar scene. The two stare at each other at the barriers. Except this time, it's different. Well, it seems different. It's not just Gold looking lovingly at Silver. Silver seems to be returning that look to Gold. Holding each others hands. Smiles on both sides. Silver leans over and kisses Gold on the cheek, making Gold blush a little.

The two part ways. Gold watches as Silver goes through the barriers, who repeatedly turns round and smiles at Gold until their distance is too far. Gold walks back to his flat, a proper bounce in his step. He feels that their relationship is in a whole new stage. Silver stares out the train window as the city whizzes by. Tonight was very eventful but he feels different. He feels that he can maybe start opening up more to Gold. Gold can be trusted. Gold makes him happy. Of course, as it is Silver, everything must be taken with a pinch of salt. There will always be that mental struggle. He knows that Gold loves him. He's quite sure that Gold will probably say 'I love you!' first. But...

Can Silver say it back?

*****************************

The next morning, Silver is tidying up a little. He can hear a car pull up outside. He knows that it's mum. He quickly finishes up.

His mum walks in.

"Hiya!" Silver greets. No response. "Mum?" Silver speaks. Still no response.

Silver's stomach starts to flutter. He has a bad feeling about this.

"Who's the guy!?" She says abruptly.

"W-What!?"

"Don't be coy! The guy you were making out with out in the streets of Goldenrod City last night!"

Silver went pure white. He doesn't know how to respond. How could she have known? She's never in the city.

"Well?" She quizzes. An angry expression on her face.

"I-I..." he stutters. He starts breathing heavily. He's lost for words.

"Silver! Explain yourself! Who is he!?"

"H-How...did you know?"

"Ah! Trying to hide things from me, I see. Nothing gets past me! My friend was in the city and she saw you!"

Silver starts to panic. He tries to catch his breath. He's done nothing wrong. He knows that. But...she always knows how to make him hate himself. She always makes him feel nothing but guilt and self-resentment. Finally building the courage to respond...

"I'm 26! I am allowed to have a life of my own!"

"I need to know everything!" She instructs.

"Why!?"

"Because I say so!" She responds.

"That's not fair! I'm an adult!"

"I don't care. You were obviously trying to hide it from me but had the audacity to kiss in public and flaunt it like it was something to be proud of!"

"I-I..." Silver is lost for words.

"Explain yourself!" She intructs again.

"His name is Gold! He lives in the city, he's a student..."

"So he's young then..." She interrupts.

"W-Well... He's younger than me, yes!" Silver responds.

"How old?" She asks.

"...19"

"Ew! 19!? That's disgusting!" She snorts.

"What!? How!?"

"That's too young! He's a child!" She insists.

"He's an adult!" Silver responds.

"No! I don't accept this! End it now!" She commands.

"No! I won't end it!" Silver answers.

"Silver! I will, under no circumstances, accept this disgusting relationship!"

"It's not disgusting!" Silver insists.

"Silver! You will not see that boy anymore! It's obvious that I can't trust you. From now on, I want to know where you are at all times!" She instructs.

"Mum! I'm not a child, I'm an adult!"

"Yeah, well, you obviously can't be trusted! Date someone your own age, instead of chasing after your lost youth. But then, I'm surprised he's interested. You haven't exactly got anything to offer!" She remarks walking out the room.

Silver is gobsmacked. He can't believe what he's just heard. He knows he needs to fight this but...he can't. Why is he unable to find the strength? Why is he always allowing his mother to be this controlling? Why can't he break free? Why can't he tear down this mental barrier?

~You're weak! You're nothing! You have nothing! And you always will be nothing!~

Silver starts breaking down. What does he do?