I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)

Chapter Nineteen: Time To Leave

18:00

Silver is sitting at the living room table, nursing a cup of tea. A lot of things have been swirling through his mind over the last few days. Ever since Gold came to his house to state his case to his mum really made Silver think alot about himself. Susanna as well as Gold telling him that he needs to get out of the house and escape the current environment. It's really scary though. Silver knows that he needs to escape and that it'll probably be the best if he left. He knows he has somewhere to go. Gold has made that clear, but, he'll be branded as the bad buy. The selfish son, as per usual, thinking only of himself. Ungrateful and self-centred.

Part of him feels like he couldn't cope with it.
"OK Silver, I'm off. I'll be back on Sunday, as normal." His mum says kissing him on the cheek. "Have a good day at work tomorrow and enjoy your weekend. Stay away from that boy!" She finishes.

That really annoys him. It's really patronising. He's never allowed anything. Anytime he feels any kind of happiness, she has to squash it somehow. But she loves him, right? They do get on well and have similar interests, but, why does she have to be awful sometimes. He's conflicted.
Umbreon runs into the room and jumps onto his lap, looks up at Silver in glee. He looks down at the smiling face: "What should I do?" He asks. Umbreon, of course doesn't answer.
Silver ponders.........

He picks up his phone, pushes a few buttons and places the phone next to his ear. There are a couple of rings before the person answers...

"Sllver!?" Gold exclaims. "You called! Are you OK? I haven't heard from you since yesterday, what's going on?" He asks both excited that Silver called and concerned that Silver called.

Silver is silent for a moment. All Gold can hear is Silver taking deep breaths, so, he braces himself for what Silver is going to say:

"Gold...is uhm...that offer...still open?" Silver asks nervously.

"Yes! Of course it is!" Gold assures.

"Well, uhm...would it be OK if..."

"Are you accepting my offer!?" Gold interrupts.

"Y-Yes... Yes!" Silver confirms.

"Yay! That's so great. I made space for you just incase you did decide you wanted to. I'm so excited. And don't worry about the sleeping arrangements. The couch converts into a sofa bed so, I can sleep on that and you can sleep in the bedroom." Gold says excitedly.

"No! I can't do that. I'm the one imposing, I'll sleep on the sofa bed."

"No! You're the guest, you can have the nice bed."

"Gold! I mean it! I'm having the sofa bed. I appreciate the offer but you're keeping your bed!" Silver insists.

"OK OK!" Gold concedes. "So, uhm... What you going to tell your mum? Does she know?"

"No, she doesn't know. I think I'm going to leave a note for her."

"Are you sure?"

"... Yeah. I think if I try to tell her in person, it'll cause a huge argument and she'll end up talking me out of it and I'll be back where I started."

"Ok babe. I support you all the way. Do you want me to come and help?" Gold asks.

"Yes please!" Silver responds.

"OK! I can be there in an hour. I'll quickly get ready and I'll see you soon!" Gold says.

"OK! See you soon!" Silver says as the call is ended.

Silver is still sitting at the living room table. He's thinking about what this means. Once he leaves, his mum may never want to speak to him again. Even though Gold is on his way to help him pack, he needs to be sure that this is definitely the decision he wants to take. The anguish is crippling, but, he knows that he can't stay here anymore. Gold is really important to him. He really likes him and Gold really loves him. Silver thinks he can be really happy with Gold and he can't let his mum stand in the way of that. Although... There is that one niggling thing that bothers him still...

Does he know how to love?

Silver still can't answer that question. He knows he wants to love. It's just, he's never felt it before. He knows Gold loves him. He just hopes that Gold's patience doesn't wear thin waiting for Silver to figure things out. Gold is amazing and Silver knows that Gold would do anything to make him happy. Silver desperately wants to reciprocate those feelings. He just...needs to figure out how.

He decides to try and write the note he's going to leave for his mum. This is going to be tough. He gets a blank piece of paper and a pen. He stares blankly at it. What the hell does he write? This is awful. Why has it come to this? Why is he so weak? Why can't he stand up for himself?
The piece of paper gets splattered with Silver's tears. He hates this. He hates that his life is a complete disaster. A complete mess. He hates himself.

********************
*Knock Knock*

Silver opens the front door to see a clearly excited Gold standing in the door way.

"Hey!" Gold cheers.

Silver couldn't help but smile as he invites him in.

"So, have you decided what you're taking?" Gold asks.

"I think so. I've opened up my suitcases and have laid stuff on the bed that I'm taking, I just need to...actually put stuff in."

"OK! Shall I head upstairs and start putting things in then?"

Silver nods.

As he watches Gold head upstairs, all he can feel is something resembling happiness. Part of him feels that this is definitely the right decision. This is something he needs to do and Gold is definitely the right person.

There's something else he needs to do though. He knows that Meganium won't go with him so, he needs to explain to her that he's leaving and why. There's also Scizor. Scizor likes to wander around the nearby woods, Silver doesn't think he'll want to go either.

That's a bit of a depressing thought. He'd more or less be leaving Meganium and Scizor behind. They've been with him for years. It'll be quite hard to say goodbye.

Gold is in Silver's room, putting the stuff on his bed into the open suitcases. He's excited that Silver is moving in with him. He's still going to take things slow. However, just the very idea of him and Silver living in the same flat is exciting. He looks out the window which faces the back garden. He can see Silver talking to Meganium and Scizor. It looks serious. Gold suddenly realises that they may not want to go. He's realised that Silver might find it hard to leave them behind. Silver might not want to go now. That made Gold a little sad. He'd be heartbroken if Silver suddenly changes his mind, but, he doesn't want to pressure him and he would completely understand the reasons. He'll just need to wait and see.

*****************
Suitcases packed, Gold drags them down the stairs, Silver walks into the hall.

"Oh Gold! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to leave you to pack everything."

"No no! Don't be silly. I... I saw you having a serious discussion with Meganium and Scizor. What's happening then?

"Meganium isn't going. I knew she wouldn't. I can hardly get her to leave her garden during a storm for a night, she is hardly going to leave it permanently. Scizor is coming with me. He seems to be alright leaving. Sneasal and Umbreon of course, seem happy to go"

"So...you still want to leave?" Gold asks nervously.

Silver nods. "Yeah! It's for the best."

Gold pulls Silver in for a hug and holds him tight. Silver squeezes him back.

After a few moments, they pull away. "Ready?" Gold asks.

"Yeah!" Silver responds. He walks back into the kitchen and places Meganiums Pokéball onto the kitchen table next to a letter he's left for his mum. He looks at it for a few moments. Obvious doubts quickly going through his mind, but, he isn't changing his mind.

The pair leave the house. Silver looks at it. This house that he's lived in all his life. It's a bit of an emotional moment, regardless of the overall circumstances.

"Sorry!" Silver says as tears fall down his cheeks.

"Take your time!" Gold responds.

After a while, Silver looks at Gold. He takes comfort in Gold's beautiful smile.

"Let's go!" He says.