It's Friday afternoon, Silver is at the flat. Gold is at University today so, he'll be home later. Silver is flicking through job websites. He needs a new job, working just 2 days isn't enough. Gold insists that it's fine but Silver wants to be a better contributer to the household. He needs to start thinking ahead. When Gold graduates, they may not want to stay in the flat. They may want to move to a bigger place, or even move away from Goldenrod City. Silver thinks for a moment. What could the future hold? What would Silver be doing? What would Gold be doing?
Gold will have so many options open to him. Being a Johto Champion opens a lot of doors. He could go anywhere in Johto. In fact, it could take him anywhere.
Who knows, Gold could go anywhere and Silver wouldn't want to hold him back. He wouldn't want Gold to feel that he can't chase his dream because of Silver. That makes him sad a little. Things are finally good and there's now that gut wrenching feeling that he could lose Gold. But, he'd never hold him back.
Silver sits back into the couch. He's a little sad at that thought. Just when he starts to feel happy about his life, something always has to come along and put a spanner in the works. At the end of the day, as already stated, he would never want to hold Gold back from something he really wants.
He'll just have to enjoy every moment he has with Gold, especially when the future is an unknown.
Continuing to scroll through the job websites, there's nothing that interests him or anything that he feels he can do. It's quite difficult. He either doesn't have enough experience or he's too over qualified. A double edged sword.
He isn't concentrating though. He keeps thinking about the future. Gold's future. He might outgrow Silver. But then, there's nothing he can do about it.
"I just need to try and make sure I'm worthy!" Silver exclaims out loud. He's determined. He has to prove himself. He's come so far. Can't let it all slip away now.
******************************
"Honey, I'm home!" Gold declares as he walks through the door. Silver rolls his eyes at the cliché. Gold walks over to Silver, who's sitting on the couch, and plants a kiss on his lips.
"Dork!" Silver teases.
"You love this dork!" Gold chuckes.
"Yeah yeah! How was your day?" Silver says, quickly changing the subject.
"It was fine. Crystal came to speak to me."
That sentence got Silver's notice: "Oh!? And what did she say?"
"She apologised and said she was out of line for saying what she said and admitted she was being insensitive."
"Well, that's good! Isn't it?"
"Yeah! Of course. She's my best friend, I've known her forever. It was quite upsetting having that fight."
"At least it's officially over then and you can rebuild the friendship!"
"Yeah! She's invited me to a party at her dorm tonight. Wanna go?"
"Was I invited?" Silver enquires.
"Uhm...N-No." Gold admits.
"Then...I shouldn't go." Silver chuckles.
"Why? You'd be my +1." Gold exclaims.
"Were you given a +1?"
"...Not necessarily."
Silver just laughs: "I think it'd be quite rude if I just turn up when I wasn't invited. Besides, not sure if I can deal with a room full of students. I can hardly put up with you!"
"You're so funny!" Gold says sarcastically.
"Besides, I think you should use it as an opportunity to rebuild your friendship with Crystal, without any distractions."
"But, I want you two to get to know each other too."
"You're right but after a fight like that, baby steps. Plus, it might be easier for us in a calmer environment." Silver explains.
"Easier for you, you mean." Gold jibes.
"Same difference!"
Gold laughs.
"Look! You go to the party and you have fun and let off some steam, OK?"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure." Silver insists. "Go and get yourself ready!"
************************
Silver is sitting on couch watching TV. Gold emerges from the bedroom. He's wearing a navy slim fit shirt, skinny jeans, no hat tonight, hair all combed. Silver just looks at him. He looks so handsome. A constant reminder of amazement for Silver that someone so handsome wants to be with him.
"Well? How do I look?" Gold asks.
"Y...y-you look...so handsome." Silver stutters.
Gold sniggers. Taking Silver's stuttering and staring as a good sign. He sits next to Silver on the couch and leans his head against Silver's shoulder and wraps his right arm around him cuddling into him. Silver can smell Gold's aftershave. It smells really good. The two sit still, neither moving a muscle.
"You're gonna be late." Silver finally interrupts.
"I'm too comfy to move." Gold complains. "You sure you don't want to come?"
"I wasn't invited. I don't want to get on the wrong foot with Crystal. I'd rather make as good a first impression as I can."
"Yeah, you're right." Gold admits standing up. He leans down and kisses Silver on the lips.
"Take your key, I'll probably be asleep by the time you come back." Silver says.
"Will do, babe." Gold responds walking towards the door.
"Have fun!" Silver shouts.
Gold starts making his way to the subway station. He's a little disappointed that Silver wouldn't go but understands the reasons. Silver wasn't invited and he doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot with Crystal. Especially since the fight was about him. As well as that, Silver would feel quite uncomfortable in a room full of strangers. He's not much of a drinker so, he'd feel uneasy the whole time.
Although, it would be nice if they could go out together sometimes. Not every week but, sometimes. To parties and bars etc. Of course, Silver is older, so, he's probably past that stage. Then again, Silver was never into all that so, it wouldn't make a difference, and he'd never stop Gold from going out or anything.
That made Gold stop for a moment. He turned round and looked back down the street. A wave of guilt came over him. He's never had thoughts like that before. Why is he feeling that way? It's never bothered him before. Is he having doubts? There have been things that have bothered him, and it is completely normal to find things annoying or things that you don't like about your partner. Silver will have things that annoy him. And that's fine!
But why is Gold thinking about all this now? A single tear runs down his left cheek. Part of him thinks he should go back and talk to Silver about it, but he doesn't want to panic or worry Silver.
He just decides to put those feelings aside for now. This is a conversation for another day, especially when he understands what he's actually feeling.
YOU ARE READING
I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)
FanfictionSilver is not a happy person. His past still haunts him and seems to have fallen into a spiral of depression. His life sucks. He never feels that he is good enough. Nor does he believe that he deserves happiness. He feels that he is an embarrassment...
