I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)

Chapter Two: Hunger Pains Makes Him Feel Better

Silver goes to his bedroom to get changed. Sneasel and Umbreon are still sleeping on the bed. He leans over and lightly pets them so, not to wake them. He always makes sure to be positive around them. He doesn't want them to know how he really feels. He really loves them. He loves all his Pokémon with all his heart. He would never want them to know. Although, Pokémon aren't daft, they're very intuitive so, part of him thinks that they already know. Still, he'd never burden them. He wouldn't burden anyone with his bullshit.

After getting changed, he walks downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. It was Sunday, and his mum stays with her boyfriend at the weekends so, he had the house to himself. He makes his cup of tea and sits down in the living room and puts on the TV. He can hear his Meganium making happy noises out in the garden. Meganium preferred being outside. Even in harsh weather, which always worried Silver. If there was a storm, he'd always try and make Meganium come inside, of course refusing. One time, during the worst storm on record, Silver had to pull rank and forced Meganium inside her Pokéball. Of course, she was upset but understood that it was out of worry and love.

Silver drinks his tea and watchs rubbish TV. He doesn't have any plans today. He never does.

It's spring, so, the weather is nice, and all the flowers and trees are in bloom. So, Meganium, at least, is very happy. Since it's nice out, Silver decides to go for a run. Normally Umbreon runs with him but he's still asleep so, Silver decided to leave him be.

After doing his stretches, Silver puts his earphones in and goes for his run. It's nice. A very light breeze blowing against him. Just him and his music. Gives him a chance to clear his head a little. Living in the outskirts of Goldenrod City has it's advantages. It's not busy all the time, there's the river, forest walks. Makes the run that much nicer. He has his set route and set time that he does. The run takes him about 20-25 minutes, which is enough for him.

He returns from his run. Exhausted, of course. He walks back into the house to be greeted by Scizor:

"Oh! Hello Scizor, where have you been wandering?" Silver says giving Scizor a hug. Scizor liked to go wandering on his own. Normally Silver would worry but Scizor is really strong and doesn't wander too far.

Silver walks into the kitchen. Umbreon and Sneasel are awake and are playing with each other. He prepares breakfast for them. Not for himself though. Silver doesn't tend to eat breakfast. In fact, he doesn't eat very much at all when he can get away with it. The hunger pains make him feel a little better, oddly enough.

He sits back down in the living room allowing his Pokémon some privacy to eat. He puts the TV back on. One of the channels is showing highlights of this years Johto Pokémon League Championship. Silver watches intently. All those trainers and their Pokémon. It brings memories of his own journey and League Challenge back to him. But, it just reminds him that he wasn't good enough. He still isn't good enough. He abruptly turns the TV off again and goes to change out of his running clothes.

Silver just stands in front of his bedroom mirror. It makes him sad. He keeps moving his hair to see how he looks and doing different poses. He still feels ugly.

"I hate myself..." He mumbles to himself.

He's decided that he's going to catch the train into Goldenrod. Just for something to do. He doesn't have much money so, he won't be buying much. Still, it might bring temporary happiness to him.

"OK guys. I'm going into Goldonrod City. Who wants to come?" Silver asks his Pokémon.

Umbreon and Sneasel jump in glee. They knew they'll be taking the train. They love the train so, they want to come. He knows that Magenium wouldn't want to go but always asks and Scizor was sunbathing and is not planning to move anytime soon.

"Scizor! Meganium! Hold down the fort!"

Silver, Sneasel and Umbreon start to walk to the train station. It wasn't too far away, which made it convenient. They reach the train station. Luckily, it isn't too busy. Silver buys his ticket and stands out on the platform. Sneasel and Umbreon, sit quietly. They know to behave when on the train platform.

The train now approaching Platform 1 is the 10:01, JR Express service to Goldonrod Central.

Silver watches the train slowly pull in and waits for it to come to a complete stop. He waits for the door light to come on and then pushes the button to open them. Umbreon and Sneasel run in excitedly. Silver chuckles as he follows them to an empty table seat and smiles as they sit on the table looking out.

The train starts to move and continue it's journey towards Goldonrod City. Silver watched the scenery flash by. He can hear the chatter of friends, family and couples in the background, as well as his Pokémon cheer and awe at the outside world whizzing by.

Silver just continues to stare into the distance. Oh, how lucky for his Pokémon to not have his worries, to not feel what he feels. He feels almost jealous of them.

He hopes that his little trip to Goldonrod City will make him feel, at least, a little happy. It would be a nice change of pace.

We are now approaching Goldonrod Central, where this train will terminate. Please ensure that you take your luggage, and personal belongings with you, when leaving the train.

"OK guys, let's go!" Silver says ushering his Pokémon away from the window.

Stepping off the train, Silver is taken a back. The station is so busy. There are loads of people. He didn't expect it to be busy like this on a Sunday. Oh well, he's here now.

He walks out of the station. The streets are full of people and Pokémon. He takes in his surroundings. There's a big park across the road from the station, crowded by the tall buildings. There are trees, lots of flowers, the paths lined with statues. It is a beautiful park. Voted one of the best in the city.

But Silver doesn't see that.

He doesn't see beauty in his grey, lonely world.

He suddenly feels droplets hit his head. He looks up and can see dark clouds hovering over him and watched as the rain began to fall...