I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)

Chapter Twenty Four: I Should've Stayed At Home

Gold arrives at Crystal's dorm for the party. With all the thoughts going through his head, he pondered whether he should have stayed at home and talk it over with Silver. But then, what good would it have done? Gold isn't even sure how to explain it to himself, how is he meant to explain how he felt to Silver? It would only cause Silver to panic and he doesn't want that.

Anyway, he's here now, he better make his way inside. He can hear the loud music from outside.

Upon entering the building, it was already busy with people wandering the halls, drinks and food in hand. Different kinds of music blasting out the bedroom doors. It was an open door policy. It's obvious that the party had already been going on for a while. Some were already blind drunk.

Gold starts making his way through to find Crystal. The hallway floors are already filthy with dropped food and there are some sticky patches, making squelching sounds under Gold's footsteps.

'Silver would definitely hate this. He'd feel so uncomfortable. I'm kind of glad I didn't talk him into coming.' Gold thought to himself.

Even he is feeling uncomfortable about it all and he usually enjoys things like this. Maybe Silver's maturity is rubbing off on him. That made Gold smile.

He heads upstairs to the livingroom area. Tables and chairs had been pushed back against the walls to create a makeshift dance floor in the middle. People are dancing to the music. Drinks in hand, making out, having a ball.

"Gold!" Shouted a voice. Looking at the back corner he can see Crystal waving francticly. He walks over to her. She hugs him.

"I'm so glad you came!" She says excitedly pulling him down onto the couch.
Gold just nodded, smiling weakly. Crystal is clearly already a few drinks in. He can smell it off her (although, he can smell it everywhere).

"What you drinking?" She asks.

"Uhm... Vodka, blackcurrent and lemonade, please." He responds.

Crystal smiles and nods as she jumps out the couch and heads over to the drinks table.

Gold looks around the room. It's very noisy and dimmly lit. Probably to create a club-like vibe. He feels really uncomfortable. He actually isn't sure if he even wants to be here, but, he wants to try and patch things up with Crystal and Silver said to have fun and blow off some steam. Still...something doesnt feel right.

He looks over towards Crystal who's talking to a guy and giggling. He rolls his eyes. This is what happens with Crystal. She'll have forgotten why she went over there and will have forgotten that he's there.
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It's been a few moments and Gold's getting impatient. He thought the whole point of this was to reconcile but if he's gonna spent most of the night on his own while she flirts with guys then he's just going home.

"Sorry about that!" Crystal blurts out almost spilling Golds drink as she hands it to him.

"Thanks!" Gold huffs. There's no talking. Only the blaring music. Gold is regretting coming here more and more. He actually just wants to go home. He'd rather be at home and watch a film, cuddled up on the couch. Earlier he was wishing that Silver would want to go out more, to parties etc. But actually, maybe that's not what Gold wants anymore. He'd actually have more fun at home than being here. But then, maybe it's because Silver is there. That's the difference.

"Hey!" Crystal interrupts. "You haven't said anything since you got here, what's going on!?"

"Nothing! I'm just not sure if I actually want to be here."

"What? Are you serious!? You love parties!?"

Gold just shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh... It's because of Silver!" Crystal says snarkingly. "Silver doesn't like going to parties. Silver wants you to be at home with him all the time. Silver has you under the thumb!" She lectures.

Gold started to get frustrated: "Actually! Silver wanted me to come out tonight. He wanted me to come and have a good time and to blow off some steam! I don't appreciate you speaking to me this way!" He yells standing up to leave.

"No! I'm sorry! I went too far! I didn't mean it! Please stay!" Crystal pleads grabbing his arm.

Gold thinks to himself. This is why they fell out. She clearly didn't mean her apology. But, maybe the drink is partly to blame. Crystal is his oldest friend, he wants to work things out with her. He slowly sits down again. He knows there's a good chance now that he'll regret this.

The two eventually start talking. Gold is still a little weary, and he still thinks that he'd rather be at home. He decides that he will stay a bit longer but he'll stop drinking. He doesn't want to go home drunk.

"Oh! I love this song, let's dance!" Crystal declares pulling Gold out of the couch, dragging him to the dancefloor.

Gold awkwardly dances to the music with a clearly drunk Crystal. He is kind of enjoying it though. And that's OK. It's good that he's enjoying something. He even smiles a little. Crystal is giggling a lot. The guy that she was talking to earlier joins the pair. Gold rolls his eyes again but then realises that he might be able to take his leave. She'll probably go off with the random guy and then he can slip off home.

"This is Neil!" Crystal shouts through the music.

The two shake hands. Gold looks Neil up and down. He has to hand it to Crystal. She has good taste.

She leans over and whispers: "He's so cute!" in Gold's ear. Gold nods in agreement. There's no denying it. He's tall, blond hair, blue eyes, athletic body. Just Crystal's type.

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Crystal leaves to go to the toilet. It's just Gold and Niel dancing with the other revellers. They're not talking, Gold is just going with the motions. He's thinking to himself. He's wandering how much longer he has to stay before he can go home. He can sense Niel staring at him, but he's not concentrating enough to respond. He's too busy inside his own head. Maybe he's getting past the stage of parties but he likes the idea of dancing with Silver. That thought made him smile. He can see Silver standing in front of him, smiling back at him. He looks so handsome, he's happy that he's here. Swaying to the music, Gold pulls him closer, the two dancing closer together, their arms wrapped around each other. Gold is loving it. The closeness. This is what he wants. He leans over and kisses Silver deeply.

But then the mirage fades away. It's Neil. It's Neil that he pulled close. It's Niel that he's wrapped his arms around. IT'S NEIL THAT HE'S KISSED!

Gold quickly pushes Niel away.

"What's wrong!?" Niel asks. He's in complete shock.

"No!" Gold responds.

"Gold?" Niel says.

"What happened? Why'd you push him away?" Crystal asks reappearing out of nowhere.

"No! No! No!" Gold says shaking his head. He can't believe what he's done.

Crystal and Niel watch as Gold takes steps back, bumping into people.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Someone shouts.

Gold immediately turns and runs. He has to get out of here. He did the worse possible thing. How could he do that!? What's Silver going to say!? He's going to be heartbroken!

He bursts out of the main doors and starts running down the street. Tears uncontrollably running down his face.

'Why did this have to happen!? How could I let myself do something so stupid!? I've ruined everything! Everything I've dreamed of is in complete ruins! I should've stayed at home! What have I done!?'