I Wish I Didn't Exist (Gold x Silver - Pokémon boy x boy ship)

Chapter Twenty Eight: An Important Decision

Gold spent the day walking aimlessly around the city. He's feeling conflicted. He partly feels bad for lashing out at Silver. It's not entirely his fault, he doesn't understand feelings like that and Gold kept his feelings to himself. But, it is also his fault because when Gold tried to talk to him, he got brushed off.

He doesn't know what to do. He loves Silver. He's always loved Silver but if this persists, Gold isn't sure if the relationship can survive. Gold is starting to think that perhaps a serious decision needs to be made. Does he continue, or does he walk away? If Silver doesn't change, then, it's clear that Gold will have to decide. He doesn't want to feel this way, he doesn't want Silver to be made homeless either, since he can't go home, but does that mean that Gold has to be unhappy and depressed?

Gold buries his face in his hands. He feels he can't go home, he doesn't want to face Silver, right now. He's just going to go to the party at Crystal's dorm and see if he can take his mind off it all.

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19:36

After an entire day of wandering around, Gold makes his way to Crystal's dorm. Goldenrod City is preparing for the night. Workers heading home, glad the working week is finally over. Revelers going to restaurants and bars. The night-time air filled with laughter.

Gold can hear the students at the dorm laughing and cheering a street away. It's obvious the merriment is in full swing. Gold is unsure whether he'll enjoy this or not but he's determined to drink his problems away.

"Gold! You made it!" Crystal cheers from the door.

Gold just responds with a cautious smile.

"Come on! Cheer up! It's a party! Don't be a party pooper!" She whines.

"You're right! You're right!" Gold concedes. The whole point of going to the party was to cheer up. There's no point in feeling sorry for himself.

The two head inside to join the other students already merry from the drink and music.

A part of Gold feels slight guilt for being here. It reminds him of his dream, but the other part of him doesn't want to back down. He doesn't want to admit he made a mistake. He doesn't want to pretend that everything's fine when it's not. He feels that Silver doesn't care, he feels that Silver will never truly love him. He feels he should give up. He just wants to forget. He just wants to drink his problems away.

"Hey! Crystal! Over here!" Yells a voice from the other end of the room.

Crystal runs over and hugs the stranger. Gold approaches them to see who it is.

"Oh... Hi Gold!" The young man says.

"Hi Neil!" Gold responds.

"It's been a while." Niel says.

"Yep!" Gold nods.

There is an awkward silence that befalls the trio. The music and the other partyers making noise and having fun. Gold and Niel stare at each other as though in a stand off. Crystal just looks on. Unsure of how to break the silence. She knows that Niel has feelings for Gold and of course knows that Gold rejected him. However, this awkwardness is harshing her buzz.

"Drinks!" She suddenly shouts as the pair break away from their deadlock to look at Crystal.

"I'll get us drinks!" She declares walking over to the drinks table at the end of the room.

Gold and Niel still in an awkward standoff. Neither prepared to break the silence. It's weird though. It's not that Gold hates Niel. He knows Niel has feelings for him but of course Gold rejected him because of how he felt about Silver. Although, Gold never put much thought into what he thought about Niel. He just put Niel down so cruelly because he was pining for Silver. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so cold. It's not easy for someone to put their pride on the line and admit they have feelings for someone. Gold should have been a bit kinder.