Helluva Boss: Loona one-shots

Loona x M! Hellhound 3

Requested by: AnsonSauer

You were a fresh new employee Blitzo picked up while he was at a horse race that you attended. While you weren't all that interested in watching a horse run in circles quickly, you did it for the sake of the friends that tagged you along.

Not even a few days later, you and the other employees were seen recklessly speeding down the road in a shady-looking van as Blitzo sang along to a rather obnoxious song that came on the radio.

As you were not used to the random spurs of unnecessary action, you clutched onto your seat as you sat in the middle between Moxxie and Millie.

However, out of nowhere, a bright pink vehicle swiftly took the spot Blitzo was going to park in, causing him to skid in the lot in an effort to stop the still-speeding van.

As he held the megaphone in his hand, Blitzo comments on the car's tag. "Oh, so you 'suck-4-life' do ya?!". Afterwards, he stuck his head out of the van's window and shouted, "Listen up you unoriginal pink CUM DUMP! You have three goddamn seconds to get your DICK out of my parking spot!!!"

As the figure stepped out of the car to lean on it, Blitzo immediately recognized who he was threatening. "Oh shit... Verosika?!"

"Blitzo." She tossed her hip to the side.

"I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is..." He fell on the concrete. "Three rings down!"

"And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts."

"Oh yeah? I'm surprised they'd let your fat ass out of rehab, I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelza-juice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!"

Verosika tossed her hair. "They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad loser wash-ups." She took a swig from her drink. "So... your sister says-"

She stopped mid-sentence to notice you sitting in the van looking at your phone. She then walked up to get a better look at your familiar face.

"Oh, so you're the handsome new recruit I've been hearing all about." She said as her fingers danced on the window frame. As you blushed, Loona began to growl

"Hey, STD-for-brains, I was still talking to you!" Blitzo grew impatient as she began to harass his employees.

"Yeah, that's right. Anyways, she said 'hi'." Verosika maintained her rich-bitch attitude.

However, Loona's defence for you dropped like a rock as she found a new hellhound that caught her eye rather delightfully: Verosika's bodyguard, Vortex.

"Do you think they saw me? FUCK I did my makeup shitty today!" She said, trying to maintain some form of competition to her surroundings. After her slipping up almost calling Blitzo "dad" in public, she has the fortune of bumping into the heavy-built bodyguard.

Little did he know that she was his number 1 fan, as her tail waved like a lone flag in a stadium, and her childish stature saying it all. However, Blitzo became negatively shocked at the sight, causing him to instinctively intervene.

"aaaalright, big man, where's your bitch bag of an employer."

Calmly, Vortex replies, "She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor so they rented one here on this one."

"Aw, come on!!"

"Heh, sorry, man." Loona's eye candy said as he walked away.

Meanwhile, you felt like a turd that laid eggs as you understood where her heart was in that moment (and the moments that followed). You didn't even attempt to make a single move on her since you were too stupid and shy, anyway. How pathetic.