Helluva Boss: Loona one-shots

Loona x M! angel reader

Requested by: AnsonSauer and Sami67537

In heaven, you were an archangel spy instructed by Jesus Christ himself; a heaven-born. Your orders were to investigate a business that has gotten a lot of attention up in Heaven. The business in question was called IMP and was, of course, located in Hell.

Though Heaven initiated its own answer to the infamous business, dubbed CHERUB, it was of great interest, still, to take down their "wrongful" ambitions.

To shroud your glowy "angel" appearance, Jesus gave you a dark cloak snatched from Hell, as well as a fool-proof disguise to look like your typical, everyday demon.

"Surely you won't fail me, my child. Believe in me. Even my father has blessed you to guarantee your safety." The Lord Jesus gave you the disguise. "I want you in and out as quickly as possible. Hell is a horrible and dangerous place for cleansed soldiers like you."

"I thank you for lending me your blessing through God, good Lord. I shall ease your worries and make my return swift."

The ruler of heaven reached out his hand and gracefully descended you below the holy clouds as if you were thrown off a whole other planet.

Slowly, the clouds transitioned from a pearly white to a deep red color, and soon after, you finally reached the ground. You were now officially in Hell.

In the cloak, you hid your large, superior wings, and upon first impressions, no one around you could tell if you were an angel.

You pulled out a list that detailed the address of where the IMP complex actually was, but all it took was for you to look up and see that the building was actually right in front of you. This made your job easier, thankfully.

Knocking on the door to the floor the business was on, you were greeted by an imp who happened to be the owner of the establishment.

"Well, you seem to be pretty tall... Hi, I'm Blitzo and the 'o' is silent! I'm assuming you are the cleaning people I hired?"

"Um, no. I apologize. I am actually here so that I could, perhaps, get a job."

"So, my business is growing that fast, huh? Well, alright, let's go to my office and see what I can do."

After some thorough conversing and interviewing, you successfully convinced Blitzo to be a part of his team, or so he thought. Your job was to clean some messes that occur around the office, since there was, well a lot. Blood, for example, was especially difficult to take care of.

Afterward, the imp wanted to introduce you to his employees. "So, here we have M&M, or Moxxie and Millie if you are the more formal type.

"Hi, cutie, I'm Millie!" She shook your hand. "And this here is my husband, Moxxie."

"Hi there! Er, stranger. I hope you don't mind the atmosphere of SOME people here." Moxxie says as he refers to the hellhound sitting at her desk behind you.

"Yeah, don't talk to me until you know how to get it up-" She replied. She looked up and saw you. "Woah..."

Fortunately, you saught interest in her, also.

You turned around fully, with Millie trying to introduce her behind you. "And that's our hellhound-"

The hellhound loudly interrupted as she looked up at you. "It's Loona." She blushed and tamed her tone as she pushed back a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm the receptionist here."

"Y/N... Nice to meet you." You put on a relaxed grin and shook her hand.

"So, where could I get something to drink? I am parched." You said.

"Oh uh-" Millie said, only to be interrupted by Loona, again.

"I'll get it!" Loona got up from her seat and rushed to the fridge in the break room and came back. "Here you go, Y/N. I- uh- sorry if the water sucks here. Or if I suck. OR whatever." Her face was still flushed.

"I don't care." You twisted the cap and nearly drank half of the bottle in one gulp. Everything you did made her nervous and jittery, and she would develop a crush on you, soon after.

As untraditional as it may seem, Valentine's day is also considered in hell, and conveniently, it was that day.

Blitzo and Stolas already have their plans as to how they celebrate, and Millie planned on breaking out the extra-large dildo to peg Moxxie with as soon as they got home.

Sadly, though, Loona had nobody to spend it with and normally spent her time alone drinking and crying in her office.

Once it was officially closing time for IMP Headquarters, Blitzo and the crew began to excitedly pack up their things to get ready to have fun with their lovers.

"Be sure to lock the doors to the office, ok, Loonie? I love you."

"Mhmm," she replies in an exhausted and depressed tone. Out of one of her desk drawers, she pulled out a large full bottle of vodka and turned off all the lights in the office. She then lit some candles and put on sad music to muffle her crying.

*insert sad song here* Purple rain by Prince, perhaps?

Unknown as to when IMP actually closed, you began to hear Loona's music coming from the other room. You were sitting in the break room having a snack and watching something on your phone.

You got up from your spot to check it out as you were curious to where the noice was coming from.

The door to her office was shut, but it wasn't locked. You turned the doorknob and slowly opened it to find yourself in a dimly lit room. Slightly startled, you saw a sad Loona with her face bathed in tears. She sang to what she was listening to and took swigs from her bottle of vodka.

She turned her head and saw that you were standing there and her sore eyes shot open. "I- Y/N!" Her eye went back to the same gloomy look as before. "Oh, what's the point?" She croaked.

"Loona? Are you ok?"

"Who cares? I'm just a stupid dog that no one likes."

"That's not true. I like you."

She sighed. "Don't you have someone? Like everyone else?"

"Er... No." You said quietly as though you were ashamed. "Do you?"

"What the fuck do you think? Do you think I do this shit for fun?"

"I'm sorry." You darted your eyes to the corner.

"I'm sorry, too."

"Well, in that case, would you like to be my valentine?"

Loona screwed the bottle and put it back in the drawer of her desk. She got up and almost lost her balance because she was tipsy. "Mmm~ come here."

She landed a kiss on you and urged for you to have sex with her.

"Loona, wait. I am not who you think I am."

"What? A bad boy that needs to be punished?"

"Well, yes, but," You began to pull off your robe to reveal yourself. "Now, don't freak out. I am not here to harm you." Your wings spanned open and the room lit up a little.

She then grew fearful of who you were and began to breathe heavily. "Y-you're an angel?!"

"Shhh, don't be so loud! Yes, I'm an angel. Now, I know the lord is going to kick my ass for this, but... I love you. And if I sacrifice my rank for this, then so be it. I would rather be banished to this place than to never see you again."

"How do I know you're not just saying these things just to manipulate me?" She crossed her arms.

You returned Loona's kiss and she held onto you. "Don't tell anyone about this, ok?"

Behind her, the hellhound locked the door and grinned. "Oh, you're really a bad boy, now."