The Broken Girl (Completed)

Chapter 6

I really wasn’t expecting this at all. I just got off the phone with my father and was left in disbelief. What was going on all of a sudden? Apparently my father’s friend who was attending the dinner’s wife had just passed away.

I knew the family well. I met them properly when they hosted a party at their house. But I only remember that the wife was very ill at the time. Which is why she restrained herself from working around the house and had maids to help. Which is beneficial for because of her condition.

As far as my memories taken me back, she was sweet and soft. A gentle women and was a mother of 3 children. I just couldn’t imagine what was going on. The dinner was cancelled. Surely everyone was just shocked and devastated.

Father was telling me she was fighting breast cancer and didn’t make it. I couldn’t stop thinking about how the family would manage after that. The oldest son was the only one who’s state I could predict.

I couldn’t imagine what would happen to the other two children. We have all lost someone in our lives. Whether it’s a family member, a friend or someone close to you, the pain is unbearable and to move on and live after they are gone is the most challenging part of it all.

I couldn’t exactly relate to their situation. However, I have gone through losses in my life. From deaths to toxic people just exiting my life. In the same year, I lost my uncle (mother’s sister’s husband) and cousin. l lost them both. My uncle was on dialysis for around a year or so. At that time I was in 7th grade, I think when I had a small portion in my textbook about dialysis. I even read about the information from the book before our chapter started.

I told my aunt about that and would ask once in a while about him. I still remember the details of that day. I came back from school and was upset because I didn’t get to say goodbye to my friends because of my sister.

If I looked back carefully, I could remember my mother was tomato red. She came in my room and asked if everything was alright and I said yes and then she told me about him. It was as if the world had stopped for me.

My mind was numb and frozen. I couldn’t think of anything at the time. It was my last day of school and we had holidays till school re-opened. I never told my friends about it. I went to the bathroom and just cried there and then. I didn’t even eat the pasta that my mom had made for lunch and just cried myself to sleep, as far as I can recall.  

For about 4 years, I mourned over his loss, blaming myself that I was the reason for his death, even though I wasn’t. Each time I would talk about it, I would cry. Out of all my uncles, I was the closest with him. The free memories I had with him. The one time he took me to MacDonald’s at night. I was sleeping so they took me while I was in my PJ’s.

He adored his family a lot and had many friends around him. He was always joyful and loving towards everyone. His jokes were often in a language I couldn’t understand. I would still laugh because of the way he used say it.

The last time I remember seeing him was at his house when I stayed over. Those were such beautiful times. We even celebrated his anniversary and he would make me crack up at what he said then. I smile just thinking about it.

Come to think of it, I wonder why I talk about him without crying. I feel like I just took advantage of that. And now I can speak about him without crying or tearing up.

Today, one of his daughter is married and about to get her first child and the second daughter got engaged and the third one is currently studying.

As for my little baby cousin, she I believe had a heart condition which is why after 9 months of coming in this world, she left it. We had planned, I think at the time, that we’d go see her. But cause of school at the time, I couldn’t make it. Only father did and I couldn’t even do anything other than ask about how she is.

The day I found out she was gone, I cried a lot. The things I made in honour of her like bracelets and a little figure of her out of loom bands. Seeing those and her pictures, I would also let out my tears. Even after she left this world I told myself that I wouldn’t love anyone like I loved her.

And I think I was right because after her, another boy was born a year or 2 after her. I didn’t know much about him either. He also had a history of health issues and was only around a few months I believe. I wouldn’t go to say I didn’t love him, cared about him and asked about him time to time.

I was delighted to hear that they would come here and stay with us for a little while. I’d be busy with the baby, and at least wouldn’t be bored.
He passed away too and couldn’t come because he had to stay and get treatment. So moving on was easier for me because I finally learnt how to.

They are in a much better place now and even though it took me about 4 years to move on, in the end that saying is true that, time will heal all your wounds. I wonder how long it would take to heal the new ones I got.

I am free from those dark times. At least those worries are gone which are now replaced with new ones.

I was thinking about a friend of the family and so I contacted her after a while now. She was supportive of my work and also we knew each other at the party. After that, because she and I were in the same school and class, we would see each other here and there. My father or sometimes her father would drop us all together home so that’s how we also met.

I called her number and it was going on dialling. My heart was racing and I didn’t what to do. All these random thoughts came to mind that maybe I shouldn’t have done it. After a few seconds of it on ringing…. I heard her voice.