The Broken Girl (Completed)

Chapter 8

My passion was in arts so I am doing anything I like in that field. I think being a photographer would suit me. I do side jobs as well like sell my art and craft work, do a little writing and post it online.

Even in school I think in my teachers’ eyes, I was probably a null or dumb student because I wasn’t able to get the concept. Or sometimes I would but I would freak out seeing the paper. I still remember my college teacher telling me that I was going to fail and calling my parent’s irresponsible.

As a student I don’t think they have gotten to know me because at that time, things were a little different. But I think only very few teachers really understood me for who I was and how I was like.

I felt like I was being judged without a reason. Last time, this woman was telling my mother that I was going out without any makeup on and I was like “huh?!” The only makeup I ever apply is eyeliner and lipstick. Very rarely do I put eye shadow and if I do, it’s a glitter or shimmer on my eyes.

Lucy: “The job I have is one I love and enjoy doing. My parents never forced me into doing anything and being a doctor or engineer since those aren’t the only professions aunty. And about my marriage, I don’t think there should be an age to when I get married because when I feel that I am ready, I will then.”

I’m glad that I hadn’t raised my voice too much at her or anything like that. When I am angry, it tends to happen but I try my best to remain calm.

Aunt: “Well, I am just saying what is best for you dear, no need to get so hyped up.”

Mom: “We trust Lucy and we know that when she would want to get married, she’ll tell us.”

I was thankful that my parents hadn’t forced me into this sort of thing yet. I was just hoping that this lunch was over. I couldn’t tolerate that woman any longer.

After lunch I thought maybe they might leave. Don’t get me wrong, I love having guests over. But some people who don’t pass my vibe check, I don’t like them. I didn’t like how they said those things to me and how their daughter’s attitude was towards me.

As if things couldn’t get worse, mom told me to take their daughter to my room and have a chat with her.
It was very awkward. We were sitting as if we were forced to stay there with each other. We were just asking small questions and it was mostly me keeping the conversation going. After a while, I just took out my phone.

It was much better than talking to someone who clearly didn’t like me one bit. After a while they left and I stayed for a bit with my mom.

I helped her here and there and thought it was just time to go. Today was just suffocating and I just wanted to go home and calm my nerves down.

It sort of reminded me about what happened a few years ago which was less bad than the incident that took place in my past.

I had a friend whom I cherished like the world. Her name was Emma. To me, she was my best friend and I loved her very much as a friend. I don’t want to say that to make her look bad, but to be honest with all of you, I just didn’t think she felt the same way about me.

I would do so much for her like getting her gifts, showed that I cared, communicated with her, basically showered her with love and telling her in all sorts of ways possible. It was just later on that I realised what she was like after I lost another good friend of my mine.

You can say when I needed her, it was not what I expected things to turn out to be. I have met lots of of people in my life. Being with all sorts of people, you see so many different personalities. Of course, no one is the exact same as you. You will surely find someone who might be close to your personality.

With Emma, things just didn’t turn out so well. After so many years of being friends, she and I had never argued or fought with each other once!! Until…..we fought basically because she wouldn’t tell me much about her life and it always be me who would tell her everything.

Even in terms of expressing her love to me as a friend. It just felt that I was carrying the weight of the relationship. Even as far as communication, it was only me who was doing it. I wouldn’t blame her though. It was my fault for keeping so many expectations.

I broke my own heart in the end. We are still friends today and we talk from time to time. But I only wish that I’d find a friend who cherishes and values me just like I would. Giving love and attention is all I ask.

Going home, I was just depressed by this whole situation. First, what had happened at home. Then, thinking of my childhood friend. Coming home, it wasn’t that I was too pleased about it. It was gloomy, dark and quite which didn’t help in the state and condition I was in.

I just went into my room and felt tears forming in my eyes and started crying my heart out. In my life, was it so hard to find someone who would understand me? Love me for who I was and give me the attention that I like. Am I selfish to ask for this?

The torturing pain that I get, isn’t that enough for punishment? For all the heart aches I get, it’s not like I can go to the doctor and get it checked. Because the pain I am getting isn’t something they could cure. There isn’t even a medicine out there which would stop this.