STAY IN ME // [ Ziam ]

Chapter 15

Liam was a bit unsure if he should go with Zayn for the walk. But he didn't want to break Zayn heart this time. So he agreed with Zayn with the hope that it would make him feel a lot lighter to speak up certain phases of his life to Zayn. He was happy that Zayn trusted him and was about to tell the story of his life which he purposely hid before.

After having the coffee, which Liam would say was like a elixir of life, Zayn left for his home. Well... It wasn't any different at Liam's house cause it was like his home too. More specifically Liam was his home too. But his home had a different aura which he loved significantly. So he headed back home while Liam went up to his cosy room and bed. It didn't take much time until he was deep in sleep.
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The sun shone bright up Liam's face as if it were a sign for him to get up of his bed. He woke up to a sunny morning and a beautiful day. It was the first time a day felt beautiful to him. He suddenly recalled that he was to go for a walk with Zayn. Probably that's why thr day felt so great. He tried to shove the thoughts of of himself and got up from his bed. He brushed and bathed up and changed into some comfortable pants and t shirt, perfect for a walk.

The door bell rang and he sped towards the door. It was Zayn. He had cone to pick Liam up. Liam smiled warmly at him.

"Good morning."

"Good morning Leeyum. So are you ready for the walk? "

"Yeah. Let's go. Btw at what time did you wake up? You really came so early at my place.", Liam said laughing.

" I usually wake up at 9 but we had to go for a walk so I decided to wake up early."

Zayn was blushing terribly. He was all red. He knew it and kept praying for Liam not to see it. It's just so embarrassing.

"That's really early!"

"Ok. I get you are being sarcastic out here. But I am not an early waker. I love to sleep ,you know. It just takes me to the world of calm."

" ' World of calm'? What do you mean?"

"Leeyum, things aren't at all the way I told you it was with me. I mean, yeah, I did tell you certain things but that isn't all. There's a lot more. A lot lot more to it."

"Wait... You did tell me about your anxiety. There's more?"

"Yup."

"What is it? Tell it to me if you are comfortable enough."

" You get inspired by certain things in life. It was same for me. I was a freak for singing. I would often write songs which I still quite do. It became my world, my everything. I took vocal trainings to reach higher platforms. It was all at the age of 17 when I took a step forward into auditioning for  a show. But things didn't seem to work for me. As my urge of fame began to grow, my days in the show started to be on count cause I was to be thrown away. And that's what happened. I stayed back in London in thr hopes of gaining it back but it never came back to me. My followers in socials that I gained all along the time of the show started moving away from me. I was left all alone. That's when anxiety started taking toll. And it still goes on with me. It's like a part of ne now. I hate to have it but have no other choice. The feeling of being left out haunts me till date. I can never tell how hopeless I feel sometimes. How I wish I could be the child I was once again. But... It's gone... Beyond my hold."

There was a silence which prevailed for sometime. Liam was listening to Zayn with utmost attention. He completely forgot to speak even when Zayn stopped. He has never thought of Zayn's anxiety being this serious. He could see Zayn now. Zayn was lost. And he was lost in Zayn. In his thoughts about how painful it might be for Zayn and how skillfully he hides them with a smile.

"You mustn't use socials too much Zee. I mean, if it causes you anxiety you must try staying away from it. It will lessen down your anxiousness, I guess."

"I try, I try so hard to do that. But it does me no good. I don't know how but I just can't keep myself away from them. It seems like my life is incomplete without it."

"Zayn, you are teaching me love myself then why are you so insecure about yourself? Zee try. I promise you can do away with it. It might take time but you will be free from the shackles of anxiety."

"I will try, I promise. Now Leeyum it's your turn. You never said about yourself. Why did you have anxiety attack? Was it new or you had it previously? "

"I know you are a safe place Zee. But I don't know if I should say it. I have been keeping it to myself for years now. But, ok, I will. Actually.....

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This was a big one. But, yeah what can the reason be?

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