I Don't Want to Be Little

Chapter 11

Hello peoples!!!!

First off, hi, how are you today? 

My day was okay, except last Wednesday I banged my foot on the wall and I think I might've broke something because it still hurts. It's Monday. Other than that, pretty good! I washed my dog, drew some, published a chapter on my other story. For dinner, I had short ribs and mashed potatoes with steamed broccoli, and it was just, delicious. 

Secondly. I need your help guys. I hate asking things of you because I know everyone has their own lives, and if I read a book with this in it I probably wouldn't do it anyways. But on another story, The Demon's Puppy, on Chapter 13, I put up excerpts from books I'd like to publish. But I only have time for one more, so I asked people to vote. And while they did, all four stories tied one way or another. So If you could just put you input on it, that'd be great! You don't have to read the story, it's just that one part I need a little assistance on. 

Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

- Foxx

~

Carly sat on my couch next to me, staring at me with wide, shocked eyes. 

"You fell into littlespace??"  She squealed, brimming with excitement. 

I nodded, looking down into my hands. "When Jacob came over that one night," I muttered playing with my fingers. 

Jacob had to leave that night, after another bath because of a messy dinner, his work calling him again. I was out of littlespace only a few minutes after he left, fighting to be big again. 

Since then, I had avoided him. For a good two weeks. Not picking up his calls, and not leaving my apartment except for work and school. Anytime I saw him on campus, I'd turn in the other direction. I was too embarrassed to face him. After all that talk of not being little again, I had slipped so easily around him. How humiliating! 

Carly let out another high-pitch squeal. "Oh my god, this is huge!" She exclaimed, bouncing slightly in her seat. I shook my head, sighing. She sensed my unhappiness with it, and stopped. "What's wrong? Why aren't we celebrating? Alex, this is big! You haven't been in little space since-... in years! And now that you have, you're not happy?"

"I just..." I started, a lump forming in my throat. "You know how it was, before. I just- I can't- I won't go back to that." My hands began shaking, my breathing becoming labored. My vision blurred as my eyes filled with tears. 

Carly wrapped her arms around me, bringing me in for a hug. "I know. I know," she murmured, stroking my hair. Once my breathing and shaking had calmed, she pulled back. "Jacob... Jacob isn't like that. You liked being little with Jacob, right?"

I nodded slowly. "But I also liked being with.. him, in the beginning. And look how that turned out."

"I wouldn't let it come to that," she promised, gripping my hand. "What that man did... He's not even a daddy, so you shouldn't think of him as one. No real daddy is like that. Like Billy," she ended with a happy sigh, he eyes getting dreamy as she thought of her daddy.

A twinge of jealousy hit me, surprising me. I shouldn't be jealous of my best friend... and yet, I was. I wanted what she had. I wanted that love, that attachment. That foolish look on my face what I thought of them. 

"Talk to Jacob, alright?" She said, giving me a look. I just shrugged, looking away. 

But she smooshed my cheeks, forcing me to meet her eyes. 

"Talk. To. HIM."

~

The next day, I was sitting at my island counter with a bowl of chips in front of me. I was scrolling through my phone when-