after || billie eilish

seventeen

tatum

i didn't sleep. probably because i'm in a fucking jail cell. also because i couldn't stop thinking about billie. she didn't even say a word to me yesterday, was she mad at me? this wasn't even my fault. she's the one who didn't listen to me after i told her to slow down. she was so fucking worried about herself, about her image, about what the public would think of her and didn't think about me for a seconded. why was she being so selfish? it's not like her.

actually, she is selfish. this whole damn thing was selfish. she never thought twice about doubling that speed limit. and the photos? yeah it's bad for her but she didn't seem to think about me and what comes with being involved with that fame. she has never once asked me how i felt to be with her and how it would impact me.

and i haven't forgotten about that time she brought up ivy. she had the nerve to tell me what ivy would have wanted. she never apologized, i was still the one to take all the blame, drag myself to coachella, and be the one to apologize.

fuck you billie.

"tatum" i hear a stern voice say as the heavy medal door clicks open.

i follow the officer to a court like room, but wasn't exactly a court room. like a cheesy wannabe version of one. with a cheesy wannabe judge sitting at the front.

i'm relieved to just see kermit, corey and surprisingly billie here. i could honestly picture her never talking to me again because this is all a bad imagine for her.

i told them not to tell anyone yet or just you know, my parents. the guards are going to call my parents tomorrow weather i tell them too or not, but i'll deal with that when the time comes.

i follow the guard, keeping my head down, refusing to make eye contact with any of them. this is so humiliating.

"goodmorning ladies and gentlemen, today we will be going over tatum bryers sentence and crimes" the judge says. i don't even think she's an actual judge.

the guard taps me, motioning me to stand up which i do.

"cutting off an ankle monitor is a serious offense tatum. you are being charged with escape which is a very serious crime. it's really a shame as just three days you were going to get your monitor removed."

her words stung, like she was trying to tease me. i wanted to run up there and punch her right here.

dont i need an attorney or something? dont they give you more time before a sentencing? i'm so lost? i'm so confused?

"you will be sentenced to a minimum five months in this county prison, and another three months of community service"

all the sudden it felt like the air filled with smoke, i couldn't breathe, i couldn't catch my breath. i cant do eight months in prison? this is going to ruin my life.

"also, the possession of underaged marijuana" the lady says.

what the fuck? i haven't smoked in forever, i don't have any marijuana in my room or car or anything.

what the fuck do i say? or do?

"i.. i want a lawyer" i finally speak out.

is that even what you say? or what you do? you'd think i'd fucking know how this all goes down considering i've done so much shit with the law, but now that's its actually happening it's like everything i've ever taught myself just left my head.

~

i was back in the same room two days later. this time with my parents, corey, kermit, and some shitty ass lawyer. billie wasn't here, not that i was expecting her to be or anything, just an observation.

it was a different judge than last time, but the same words being spoken. my sentence not being changed, basically what i've already heard.

"your honor, as far as a bail being set in place, what is the expected price of that?" my lawyer says, speaking for the first time.

"if one has been placed on parole or probation and they commit another crime, bail is denied right off the bat" the judge says calmly like he's has to say the same words a million times a day.

"yes your honor i understand, but tatum here had only three days left of her probation. she was also a good highschool student, has a job, involved in extracricuulars, etc" my lawyer says as i glance up from my shoes to the judges face.

he stays silent for a moment, glancing at my parents. i've noticed him do this a couple times already. his eyes fill with a look of sorrow every time he does, but quickly snaps out of it when he looks back down at the papers infront of him.

"you seem like a good kid tatum. i have a lot of faith in you. you have to work on yourself though, you understand?" the judge than speaks out.

"yes your honor" i say softly, nodding my head.

i felt so embarrassed, this was humiliating. i hate admitting this, but maybe billie was right. maybe i did need to stop smoking, maybe i did need to change. not maybe, i know i need to change.

"because i see a lot of potential in you, i'm going to set a bail in place" the judge says with a soft smile, glancing at me than back to parents and back at me.

"first option would be a collateral bail which would involve using real property to post bail such as jewelry, house, land, vehicle, etc. the seconded option would be a cash bail" the judge says.

i think between the two choices before quickly deciding on the cash bail, as i had no items of value i could offer.

"the total bail will be $7,500" the judge says as my stoumach drops. "$5,000 for violating a restraining order and $2,500 for illegal possession of marijuana" the judge continues.

he says some other things but i completely blank as i think of all the possible ways to come up with the money. i have no more than $1,500 in my bank account. kermit and corey would be no help as they have no money. not that i'm expecting them to help anyway. my parents won't help either, they will make me wait it out in jail.

"you will have the next twenty four hours to decide what you are going to do, call friends, talk to your parents, whatever you need to do" the judge finishes.

~

yo been a minute lol

also idk how the law works or a mf court hearing dont bake me