after || billie eilish

nineteen

Tatum

I was honestly really surprised to find out billie wasn't going to pay off my bail, yet i don't know why i was.

she's the most selfish person i've ever met. why would she?

i feel awful that finneas stepped in and did it. it's not even about the money as i know they have more than enough of it, it's just more the principle of it.

finneas should not be this involved with my self-inflicted problems. well kind of self-inflicted but more billie inflicted. he deserves nothing but the best, not spending his nights bailing his younger sisters friend out of jail.

fuck you billie.

~~~

"tatum, you're never leaving this house again. give me your car keys" my mom practically yells at me as i walk back into my house. "you should be sitting in that cell"

"claire, calm down" my dad says softly, "we should just be thankful she's okay"

when he's not doped up, he seems to carry a little empathy with him.

"tatum i'm disappointed beyond words. i can't believe i raised you," my mom says which finally tipped me over the edge.

"you can't believe you raised me?" i say with a fake laugh. "you think those perfect, nice, smart kids have moms who cheat on their husbands in front of them? have moms who never once cared where they were or what they were doing? never bothered to come to any school events and when they finally did, came drunk and embarrassed me in-front of everyone? you think those type of kids have moms like that? i don't know what you fuckin expected,"

my mom doesn't speak, instead just stares at me as my dad places his hands on my shoulders.

"tatum sweetie let's go lay down, we can talk where to go from here in in your room," my dad says in effort to deescalate the situation.

i do what im told and head down to the basement finding my bed and laying down. for a slight seconded i found myself relaxed as the familiar scent of my sheets filled my nose.

"we are going to have to have a lot of change around here tatum" my dad says snapping me out of my trance.

"i know, im sorry" i say honestly.

i know my dad isn't the best person ever, but i know he cares. he truly wants what's best for me.

"you know, if i could redo anything in my life tatum, it would have been to be there more for you while growing up. i left mom with the responsibility of raising you, i knew she could barley handle herself and for me to throw that weight of you on her was wrong,"

a tear runs down my dads cheek before he quickly wipes it away.

"i'm here for you now though. and i know it's stupid for you to be hearing this from me, but stop with the drugs kiddo, you are too young. you have so much potential and i'm not just saying that because i'm your dad. you're too smart for that kind of lifestyle," my dad grabs my hand squeezing it slightly.

"please tatum, watch out for yourself, for me, your mom, corey, kermit, billie, ivy, but most importantly yourself. you are your own selves biggest battle," he says with a soft smile i feel like i rarely ever see. "we can do it together,"