The second choice(Hawk)

Chapter 15

This chapter will have some trigger warnings such as self harm. So if you guys get triggered easily dm me seperatly and I will summerize it for you. :)

A month has passed since Moon and Eli got together. I haven't been doing well at all. Let me give you guys some background information. When things were really bad freshman year I developed a coping strategy, and that was cutting. I used to cut my thighs and because I never showed my body no one would notice wherever I did it. I have scars all over my thighs now. My parents said I was acting out that why they sent me to a therapist, no one knew that I cut. I got some help and I was doing great that's why they took me out of therapy. But now that we started sophomore year things have been getting worse again. I have been having my episodes more frequently but no one has noticed. About the second week of Eli and Moon's relationship, Eli started coming over, and seeing them together broke me every day. I finally couldn't take the pain anymore so I went back to my old compy strategy. I have been cutting since that second week. I have cut all down my thighs and I have now moved onto my arms. I have cuts lining both of my arms and both thighs.

I got ready for school. I showered and the showers burned like a bitch but I had to get through it. I finished showering and all I have been wearing are long sleeves, hoodies, and baggy jeans that didn't fit my thighs tight or sweats. Today I wore a long sleeve with baggy jeans and straightened my hair. But before I got dressed I wrapped my arms and legs. I finished getting dressed and I went downstairs, I walked into the kitchen and Eli was in the kitchen will Moon eating breakfast. I got in the fridge and suddenly I didn't feel like eating so I grabbed a protein shake and walked out of the kitchen fighting tears. They looked so happy together, and I wasn't going to ruin their relationship for my feelings. I put on my shoes, grabbed my keys, and headed to school.

I got to school and went to my locker, I opened it and then I saw it. Eli's flower and note. I picked up the note and read it. I never took the flower or the note home, I always forgot to get it from my locker. I placed the note back in the locker and then grabbed the flower. I held the flower in my hand gently and looked at it. It brought tears to my eyes, I missed him. He was always around but not for me but my perfect, amazing, no flawed sister. I put the flower back in my locker and I was going to remind myself to take it home today. I placed everything in my locker and grabbed the things I needed. I closed my locker and walked to my first period. I sat down and waited for the teacher to start. Eli walked in as the bell rang and he sat down next to me.

"Today class we will be making a sketch of something of your choice for our final project of this semester. I will be handing out pencils, and pens because I know some people like to sketch in pen." She smiled.

"Isn't this science?" A random kid asked.

"Yes, but I want you guys to have fun for the final project because all we have done is work, work, and more work." She explained.

The kid nodded.

The teacher handed out two pencils and pens to each table. I took my pencil and twirled it between my fingers as I thought about what I was going to sketch.

I finally decided to sketch a baby with a butterfly on his nose. Why did I choose a baby and a butterfly? Well, it's because for one I loved babies and butterflies and they symbolize something. The baby symbolizes joy, peacefulness, and childishness. The butterfly will symbolize maturity, beauty, and adulthood. Putting these very two different things just makes sense to me because the baby loves the butterfly but that butterfly holds so many secrets to life in itself.

I started my sketching the baby's head and half the body. I didn't sketch it into details so it looked like a circle with an oval connected to it. I didn't get to finish the rest because the class was over.

I placed the drawing in a folder carefully and left the class. I went to the rest of my classes and it was now time for lunch. I walked into the lunchroom and sat at my usual table which contained Aisha, Miguel, Demetri, Robby, and Tory.

"Hey, Maddie." Tory greeted.

"Hey." I smiled.

"So, how's your day?" Aisha asked.

"Good, and you guys?" I questioned.

"Mine has been good." Miguel smiled.

"Me too." Aisha smiled.

"Mine is boring but good." Tory laughed.

"Mine has been amazing. I made out with Yasmine." Demetri was smiling from ear to ear.

"You did what?" I looked at him with shock.

"Yup, that's right. You heard me correctly." Demetri smirked.

"Wow." Miguel was as shocked as I was.

"Anyway, what about you Robby, how's your day?" I looked at Robby who sat next to me.

"Alright, my dad has been getting on my nerves but other than that it's great." He smiled.

I laid my head on Robby's shoulder.

Robby and I skate every day after school together. We have become best friends. Yes, Robby did know I practiced karate with his dad but he didn't care. I told him I could stop going but he knew I liked it more and more every day so he said he didn't mind as long as I didn't talk about it in front of him. That was easy for me to do so it was a fair deal. I loved Robby he was like the only person I loved at the moment besides Eli. Robby was my only speck of light in my dark world right now. Yes, Aisha, Tory, Demitri, and Miguel were there for me but not like Robby. Robby would answer my facetime calls every night when I couldn't sleep. He would just talk to me about random things when I got sad when he was around so it would take my mind off things.

I didn't get good sleep last night so I ended up falling asleep on Robby's shoulder during lunch.

When I woke up as the bell rang for the next period, Robby had scooted closer to me so I was laying my whole body on his shoulder and the side of his body. He had wrapped his arm around my waist and had me close. I sat up and wiped my eyes.

"Well, good morning." He laughed.

"Morning." I smiled.

"Want me to walk you to the library?" He asked.

I nodded my head, yes and we grabbed our things. He held my hand as we walked to the library and then he let my hand go as we arrived and he had to go to class. He told me he would be waiting for me after school so we could go skating. I smiled, nodded, and walked into the library.

This is the last chapter for today. I will try and post 3 or 4 chapters tomorrow. :)