i miss you, im sorry || rini au

ch. 3

2 weeks later

nini's pov

i've been pacing back and forth in my room for at least half an hour now.

it's moving day and i'd be lying if i didn't say i was a little nervous. don't get me wrong, i'm crazy excited. it's just a lot at once, you know? i know this is a chance of a lifetime, but i'm still terrified. i've never left salt lake before. i'm moving 571 miles away from everything. what if i miss it all so much i can't handle it. my home, my school, my family, my friends would all be left behind in salt lake. i'll be all alone.

that sounds kind of depressing, but it's true.

i also don't know how i'm supposed to tell ricky. i told everyone else, but not him. to be honest i've been avoiding him ever since the night of the musical. we clearly feel very differently about each other so i'm not sure if i should even bother telling him. i'm not sure if i owe him an explanation or not.

he's made it pretty obvious he doesn't need me.

"nini! it's time to go!" mama c yelled.

i grabbed my backpack and raced down the stairs to the door. if i stay any longer i won't want to go.

when i walked outside the car was already running but mama c and mama d have the biggest smiles on their faces. airports make me anxious so we're driving to denvor. aka a 7 hour car ride.

"SURPRISE!"

i looked to my left to see the whole theatre gang standing there with a big "we'll miss you!" sign.

"you guys!!!!!" i yelled, running over to them.

"did you seriously think we were gonna let you go without a proper goodbye?" carlos said, hugging my tightly.

"ahh i'm gonna miss you so much!" sebby exclaimed, hugging me.

"i love you, sis! if anyone messes with you, you call me up ok?" kourt said.

"nini! we gotta leave in 5!" mama d yelled.

i turned around to face her "ok!" 

but when i turned back around everyone was gone, with just ricky remaining.

"where did everyone go?"

"they all left, but i wanted to talk to you alone first."

"oh."

"i'm gonna miss you so much," he sighed.

"you'll be fine without me. plus you have gina."

"gina isn't you, nini. you know you're the most important person in the world to me."

"that's not what it looked like when you were kissing in the dressing room. when you told her you loved her," i muttered sadly, looking at the ground.

you face fell at my words "i know nini, i know and i'm so sorry. i don't know what i was thinking."

"did you mean it?" i asked, looking up from the ground.

"did i mean what?"

"do you love her?"

"yes," he sighed.

i turned my head the side so he wouldn't see my eyes watering.

an uncomfortable silence fell upon us until i spoke up "i uh- i think i should go," i said, turning around and starting to walk away.

"wait!" ricky said, grabbing my arm and turning me aroung.

"you're just going to leave like that?" 

"well what do you expect me to do, ricky?"

"i don't know..stay? just stay for a little longer and we can figure things out!"

"ricky, we tried figuring things out. i'm gonna miss you more than anyone. but i can't stay, ricky and you know that."

"what am i gonna do without you?" he muttered sadly.

"i'll facetime everyday, and come visit. just promise me you won't let this get you down. ok? don't let me moving affect you."

"i don't see how i'm supposed to do it."

"please, ricky," i sighed.

"fine, i promise."

"i'll see you soon," i whispered, hugging him as tight as possible.

"go follow your dreams," he whispered before letting go and walking away.

* * *

a/n:

why does it still make me somewhat uncomfortable that people over 30 read my books 😂