i miss you, im sorry || rini au

ch. 9

ricky's pov

i can't stop staring at nini. she's always been stunning, but now she's just-

she look so different, yet exactly the same. it's obvious that some time away has made her more mature. she's also become much better at hiding her true emotions, even from me. i guess that's what acting school does to you. i used to be able to read her like a book, but she's made it a lot harder. i can still do it though :)

i ate in silence for the whole dinner, only contributing by nodding my head and smiling slightly. however i keep trying to make eye-contact with nini, but everytime i try she tries twice as hard to look anywhere but at me. i can't really blame her, can i?

"ricky, nini how about you guys go upstairs and we'll call you when dessert is ready?" mama d suggested.

alone? in a room with her? for at least 30 minutes? this won't be awkward at all..

"oh um sure," nini muttered, gesturing for me to follow her.

we went into her room and sat down on her bed like we used to, except this time we sat as far away from each other as we could. 

"look, nini, i-"

"don't," she snapped, cutting me off.

"i'm sorry for hurting you, and breaking you're heart. i know you were probably hurting for a while and i-"

nini chuckled dryly "you really think you affected me that much?"

"i mean, yeah."

"wow," she muttered "look, ricky. i'm not like those girls in those high school movies. sure, you broke my heart. and yes, you hurt me more than anyone else ever has, but that doesn't mean i've let you affect me. i don't need you," she spat.

i was shocked into silence. the last time she spoke to me like that was when i microwaved her barbie.

"well, do you want to talk about it?"

"there's nothing to talk about ricky."

that made me lose it.

"oh my god stop lying to yourself! i'm not stupid, ok?! i've seen that wall that you've managed to build up. and it may work with most people, but not with me. you can go and hide your emotions from everyone else but please just be honest with me!"

"what do you want me to do?! start yelling and crying?! admit how much you fucking crushed me?! cus it's not gonna happen ricky."

i stould up and moved away from the bed, with nini standing up as well "please, nini! just stop holding everything in!"

"fine, you wanna know how i feel? i feel broken, alright?! i'm so fucking sad i can't feel anything else! you were the person who was supposed to stand by me no matter what, but you left me again!" she admitted, now full on crying.

"oh my god i never left! i'm still here. i'm standing right in front of you!"

"but you've not been ricky! ever since i told you i loved you you've been so fucking distant. i know you don't feel that way about me, ok i get it! but i thought you at least cared a little bit about me!"

"we're seriously still talking about that night?!"

"yes! of course! you just left!"

"NINI, THAT DAY I HAD TO LEAVE!"

"NO! THAT DAY YOU HAD TO STAY!"

"just go ricky. leave and don't come back. it's seems to be what you do best," she said, sounding defeated and turning away and opening the window so i could leave.

(a/n: let's have it so that in this story nini's window is super close to the ground lol so he doesn't get hurt)

"i'm sorry nini."

"we both know you're not."

i left wordlessly, climbing out the window and walking back to my house.

* * *

a/n:

we love a double update