A Family Affair

thirty two // in fate's hands

Devin POV

I messed up. Sage is a good woman, she never turned her back on me on my ugly times, but instead she set me straight and as the woman that she is, been unappreciated all too much, it was supposed to be my job to be different for her. I promised her but I messed up and even if we are on different places in the world, I still want her and by any means I am willing to do anything I can to prove that I apologize. 

"I was just reacting...." I paused as I tried to figure out what to text her, but I just ended up erasing the whole thing. "Fuck!" I shouted as my brother looked at me oddly but then nodded again "Selfishness does that to you" 

I chuckled "Yeah? Well fuck you Davon" I looked back at my brother who made childish faces. As serious as this was he knew I need a little laughter

"Leave him alone" My mom hissed at Davon after she slapped his arm in my defense "Baby you know I love you right?" I nodded 

"You fucked up" Davon howled in laughter as I couldn't help but laugh too "Mom, I don't think that's helping" I pitched in, my hand on her crossed arms 

"Sage is a beautiful woman, independent, strong and very smart, too smart for your ass" She paused, I don't see how any of my pain is turning into Davon's entertainment. My eyes grew big "Momma" I worded. Her hand on my mouth and shook her head "I'm not done"

"When have I ever met a genuine woman that you've ever dated? All of them were all chasing you for your title and your money, all that court side wife fantasy. But Saysay? Baby she's got her own shit going for her and she never needed you, never needed you to support her in any way possible other than for you to love her, care for her and be the man she fell in love with. I love Sage, she became my daughter the minute that child walked in here and did not take my shit but instead always came smiling, sending me flowers on mother's day, my birthday, valentine's day or sometimes just because. She calls me up to see how I'm doing, we go out to eat- none of your exes did that with me. You fucked up with Sage because you were afraid to do long distance, when things were starting to go right you leave because she chooses to selfishly, for herself, create an even better life for her future and possibly yours." I'm not sure if that's supposed to make me feel better but from what I understood, Sage really loves my mom and what woman gets along with their in laws, let alone their boyfriend's parents? 

I nodded "There's nothing I can do" 

My mom looked like she was about to cuss me out in spanish "Get the girl, your words? Say it all. You wanna do something? Grand gesture. She says you can't just talk your way out of this one? Don't give up. Whatever she was or is to you, son, you gotta start acting like it"

Davon was in the background, nodding as if this was all for him. I gave my brother an annoyed look as our mom swatted the air having enough of our childish games, when you have siblings, there is no age where you stop being childish.

I feel like an asshole. I walked up to my room and just sat there, looking at the blank message bar, waiting for something to come to me, but of course nothing. I looked over at the corner of my night stand, there stood an off white paper with her beautiful cursive handwriting.

Devin,

I heard writing letters without actually giving them out is a therapeutic closure and so here I am. You were my first real love. I don't know what other words to say when I've pretty much said it all and yet I'm writing here thinking, where did we go wrong? We are both successful, we were both really fond of each other in unexplainable ways that other people would question, but that was just us. Beyond the relationship, we proved to everyone that we had a genuine and great friendship, you had given me a best friend aside from Mango who truly is the best thing I've ever received on that day. I will love you forever and until the next, I know the news had hit you hard considering you were, maybe planning to get back together with me (that's what Travis said) and I couldn't help feel guilty about it. I want that as much as you do, maybe even more but you know how I am when it comes to my future, I don't want to be hand fed by the success of my family, I want to be my own person. You inspire me, you strive for greatness, you are loyal to yours and even mine which makes me feel lucky to have known you, but obviously we've lost our way somewhere along the lines of a raging- home wrecking bitch. Pun intended. Long distance would've probably never worked, it did with us though, the way we traveled too much but thousands of miles away is much different I guess. But whatever life brings, I forgive you and I will love you and your family as much as I do mine. You were hurt, and took the news the best way you could and I do not blame you but I was hurt, I am hurting and letting you go and to walk away may be the worst mistake I will ever do, temporary or not, like you'd always say, fate is our best friend and when the time is right, maybe fate will do its magic. I will never stop loving you from this life to the next and the ones after that, I don't blame you and I don't blame myself, we cope differently and I accept this fate and the one in England. My love, you are everything I've ever wanted and I'd like to think I am yours too. Thank you for giving me the best times of my life and showing me what true love is without all the bullshit and materialistic things we see in the romcom movies you hate. You will forever be my family. I love you a million times around the solar system, because the moon and back are for weak bitches and we both know all too well, we're more than just that.