fallen angel [taekook]

31 ✞ help me

Jungkook yet again stared into his eyes, reading them. Guilt, Sorrow, Sympathy.

Was he really sorry?

Jungkook found himself at loss of words or thoughts. His cheeks heated up in crimson red. He wasn't sure wether Taehyung was actually genuinely apologizing to him- and he didn't know what the kiss was about.

But it surely felt amazing. It felt surreal. He had never experienced anything like that before. A part of him wished they had never pulled apart from their collided lips.

But the other part of him wished it had never happened. Because the thought of having kissed someone related to the person who made his parent's life miserable made him feel guilt.

The sudden annoyed temper Jungkook was feeling a few minutes ago came back, "No, no you don't. You know you're not sorry. Your not capable of feeling sorry, just like your f-"

"But do you know me? You're so quick to prejudge me on my father's behavior, but do you know me?" interrupted Taehyung sternly. Jungkook fell silent.

He did not know him, at all.

He had heard about some of his past through Yoongi and all, but, he himself didn't actually really know him.

But it would be nice to.

"You don't know me. You don't know how I truly felt when my own mother died. You are not the only one who lost a parent Jungkook." said Taehyung, desperation and hurt found in his voice.

Jungkook didn't speak.

"I loved my mother. I loved her more than anything in this world." started Taehyung, his voice quivering a little. "She was the only one I wanted to spend my time with, aside from Yoongi of course," he gave a small chuckle at the end of his sentence.

"She was so caring towards me, I was all she wanted, she told me. A little boy. She didn't care about power- or blood- or reign- she just wanted an own child." he smiled nostalgically.

"She didn't quite agree with my father's behavior, you see; his ambition for power. However she never really did anything about it, other than tell me to never be like him. I don't understand how she married him- or even considered being with him. But that never really mattered to me. I just cared about her. Only her. I couldn't- and can't- feel the same for my father. I never loved him as much as her. He never showed much affection towards me. So why should I?" Taehyung finished coldly.

Jungkook listened quietly.

"I hate him Jungkook. I hate him. I hate him for being the way he was. I hate him for never paying interest to me." his voice cracked, "I hate how I'm j-just like h-him."

Jungkook stared at him. He seemed out of breath. As though there was a thick lump on his throat blocking the oxygen from passing his lungs, yet his expression remained serious. His eyes were glossy, yet no tears dared fall.

He looked in a desperate need of comfort and reassurance.

"Since the day my mother died, I lost it. I just couldn't remain 'okay' after that. This unexpected hatred towards angels- How could I not feel hatred? Your people killed her. I'm sure of that. Just like they did with Y/n too. And so I couldn't help it- I began becoming more like him, like my father. Always cruel and hungry for power.
Power so that no one can ever take anything from me again."