twenty

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i wake up to a text from harry. i don't respond straight away, i get up and shower. Once out of the shower i sit on my bed in my towel for a while and finally respond to him. Whilst also changing back into the clothes from last night, i only wore them for a few hours it doesn't matter

harry x
Charlotte, i'm so sorry, please can we talk.
                    Lottie
                   of course, i shouldn't of reacted how i did
                    im sorry.
harry x
Hey it's fine, i'll be over in 10 is that fine?
                   Lottie
                   see you then x

i'm excited to see him but i'm nervous. I don't know how this is going to end, we won't break up. no we won't, there is no need for that.

i get up, go downstairs, in my joggers and sports bra from last night and clean up all the mess i have made over the past week or so, empty wine bottles, left over take away packaging. all of it, needs to go. Harry can't see how i have been living, like a pig.

i hear a knock at the door. He wasn't wrong when he said 10 minutes. i make my way over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it to reveal harry looking very tired and stressed. We stared at eachother for a moment without saying a word

'i'm sorry' we both say in unison and i chuckle slightly

'come in' i move out of the way for him to come in, which he did so and followed me over to the sofa and sat down. Both at other ends of the sofa.

'i'll go first then?' he looks over to me, which i nod in reply.

'i don't know what was going through my mind the other night, i was jealous. I don't know why i just was and you-' he starts to say before i cut him off

'harry, you had every right to be jealous, so did i, i just wasn't, i was confused' i confess

'y-you're right' he sighs before continuing
'i took it out on you, for no reason. We've both slept with one of our mates, whether it be before we knew eachother or when we did. And i-i'm sorry for reacting how i did, i just love you so so so much and i didn't want to lose you' he poured his heart out to me, it made mine melt. I didn't reply for a moment

'i-i slept with lux' i say whilst breaking the eye contact and looking down to my hands, unsure of how he was going to react.

'i slept with Lauren' he says finally, which my head shot up in shock

'Lauren?, why didn't she tell me' i sigh
'no don't answer that, i should've told you about me and lux'

'Charlotte, we never spoke about this, how could we have ever told eachother?' he says quietly before coming closer to me

'i-i know, but lauren could've told me, she's one of my best friends. I ruined mine and hers friendship the other night' i felt a tear roll down my cheeks

'how did you? no no i refuse to believe you did' he tries to comfort me whilst also trying to make sense of all this mess.

'i just- i told her i had more friends than just her, when all she was trying to do was comfort me.' i sigh wiping away the tear away

'if she let you saying that ruin your friendship then she was never a true friend' he wraps his arm around me

'i'm sorry you don't need to hear this right now,
you're here to fix whatever happened between us.' i say sniffling and looking at him

'look, we're both clearly sorry about what happened so we're okay' he pulls me into a side hug whilst still sat down and i accept it, then resting my head on his chest

'i love you' i say quietly

'i love you too, charlotte, always and forever'


i hate this chapter so much, i'm sorry

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