Remember me || Patrick Stump

Chapter seventeen

It's been a week since I'd left the hospital. In that week I've visited Judah 5 times.
And I've visited Annabel zero times.
It wasn't that I was afraid of seeing her, it was that I was afraid of seeing what was going on in that room.
Brendon was there everyday, his hand in hers, giving it the occasional squeeze.
I didn't know if this was his way of an apology, saying sorry when she wasn't even conscious, but it wasn't working for me.
Every time I walked past that room, I felt a pang of jealousy run through me.
That should be me in there, saying things she'd never hear, holding her hand, waiting there every minute. Waiting for her to come back to me.
What would she say if she found out I didn't stay with her all this time. What would she say if she woke up to brendon and not me?
I had so many questions running through my mind, clouding my thoughts. So I knew where I needed to go.

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"You haven't seen her at all?" Judah's voice was hoarse from the treatment he's just been given.
There were dark circles under his eyes, and a large bruise on his upper forearm, but I figured that those were just symptoms.
"No.." I said, my face flushed.
As stupid and ignorant as it sounds, yes, I was embarrassed.
"Why?"
"He's in there. Brendon. He's just in there waiting for her. I should be there."
Judah stood up and paced in his hospital gown.
"Even after what he did to her, he still keeps trying? That's just scary."
Ok I know what you're thinking. I hardly knew Judah, and I've already told him about what happened between Annabel and brendon. But I could trust him. There was just something about him.
Maybe it was the way he actually listened to me when he told him things.
He was no Annabel, but he was a great friend.
And I did give him time to talk about his problems, but the one question I had in the back of my mind, that I wouldn't ask.
How long did Judah have left?
He was a great friend. Maybe even my best at the moment, and I didn't want that to just Go away.
But still, I didn't ask.
"I know," i agreed, only half paying attention.
What Judah had said was true. How could someone be that low? How could brendon just think that as soon as Annabel woke up, she'd forgive him and look at him as someone who was there for her.
But then again, how could she forgive me for not being there for her?
"So," Judah said, thankfully pushing my thoughs away. I payed full attention to him now, just as he always did with me.
"I hope this doesn't sound weird," he blinked a few times, and his gold eye twinkled in the light, "but I looked you up on google."
I laughed a little, and Judah smiled.
"I wasn't expecting anything y'know, maybe just a yearbook photo or something. But then these videos came up. Fall out boy huh? Kind of a weird name for a band."
My heart skipped a beat at the name of my former band.
I forgot we'd put videos of us performing on YouTube. God how long has it been? Two, three years?
"Yeah.. It was Annabel's idea," I laughed a little, "she was always kinda weird. In a good way though."
Wait. Why did I say was instead of is?
"Well," Judah continued, "I watched quite a few videos, and patrick I have to say, you have a soul voice."
He patted me on the back a few times and I thanked him.
I felt better when I was around Judah. He felt like a big brother to me.
"So I started talking to the CAHC, and the kids there," (The CAHC Is the cancer awareness help center.) "And I think all the kids would really enjoy of you... Well you know. Sang to them."
Anxiety, and joy filled my heart, but I didn't know which one to feel most. Someone wanted me to sing to them?
"R-really?" I said, fumbling over my words.
"Well I'm free on sat-"
"You're free now aren't you?" Judah have me a reassuring smile, and I nodded.
"I have a surprise for you. "
At first I was confused as he lead me down Annabel's hall. Nurses and doctors were smiling at us as we passed, and at first I thought it was because they knew Judah, but then I realized different.
We stopped at room 103. Annabel's room.
I expected to look in and see brendon there, but instead I see something amazing.
About 30 cancer patients were gathered around Annabel's hospital bed.
Some at the young age of 5, others even older than Judah.
Some had no hair, some had lots, and some wore wigs.
But they were all smiling. Smiling at me.
Happiness spread throughout me, and a grin spread across my face.
Annabel was not conscious, and she looked even worse than before, but trust me. This room was very much alive.
"Look!" A little girl shouted. She couldn't have been more than 7 years of age.
"It's the singing man! The guy Judah showed us!"
The room filled with cheering, and as the little girl began to run towards me, I knelt down, and felt her embrace me. I hugged her back, and heard her giggle into my shoulder.
"Hello," I said with a smile. "I'm patrick."
"I'm izzie," she said, wearing a smile.
"Well that's a beautiful name. Just fit for a beautiful girl like you." I poked her nose, and she giggled again, a rosy blush spreading though her cheeks.
"Do you want to hear a song?"
I asked her.
"Yes, please!" Lizzie cheered, jumping up and down.
I laughed a little, and held out my hand.
Lizzie crawled into my lap, and whispered something into my ear. A song.
I nodded, and Judah handed me a guitar.
I smiled, "ready?" I asked the room. Everyone cheered.