𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐃𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒, k. jacobs¹

Chapter VIII

I'm laughing with Karl with my phone on speaker when my brother walks in. My laughter dies out, but Karl doesn't seem to notice and keeps laughing.

"Who are you talking to, you don't have any friends?", Sapnap asks me, only half kidding.

I sit silently for a bit. I don't know why, but I feel as I'm doing something I shouldn't be. Karl's gone quiet now too. Guess he's noticed that Nick is here.

"Uhm, it's just Karl", I know that he would've laughed at that if it weren't for the heavy silence in the room that seemed to spread its way through my phone to the air around Karl as well. The kind of silence that makes everything dull and awkward.

"Why are you talking to Karl?" He finally says. How to answer his question without further questions. I really just wanna get out of this uncomfortable situation. Can't I at least have that? Nope, seems like I can't.

"Because he's funny? What do you want me to say? Because I want his clout? I don't even stream" I say in a pathetic attempt to joke it away, scoffing jokingly in the end, laughing awkwardly at myself. My brother doesn't seem to notice the tension in my answer and scoffs but then snickers in his typical way.

He walks away and I release a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. Karl stays dead silent. I shift a bit where I sit.

"Did he leave? Can I talk?" He seems on edge. Why does it feel like my brothers' friends aren't supposed to be my friends? Why is life so weird?

"Yeah, he left. You're fine" I tell him.

"He's going to be so mad at me," he says, louder than before, with his normal silly and joking tone. He laughs and I laugh with him.

"No, we can't be sure of that," I say calming my laughing to get my words out. 'Was he really?'a treacherous voice in my head says. No, no Sap isn't like that. And why would he be? He literally has no reason to be mad at me for finally making some friends.

"You're right, I need to get along with you anyway as I'm his fiancée", I can practically see the eyebrow wiggle. Ew.

"I'd be an awesome sister-in-law", I say proudly. He laughs at my words and I frown. "Are you saying I wouldn't?" I ask him with the most monotone voice I can up-bring. It's working as he quickly speaks.

"No, no you'd be awesome", he excuses himself hurriedly, stumbling over his words while holding in his laugh.

"Yeah, of course, I'd be", I scoff at him. Then we can't hold it anymore and we both burst out laughing. He's really easy to talk to.

"Hey, do you wanna join me for a stream tomorrow? Sapnap will be there as well as some other people, were not sure what we're doing yet, but as long as it's not Minecraft you can join, right?" I chew my bottom lip, thinking about it. Pros and cons about participating.

"Yeah, and as long as my face won't be shown," I say rolling my eyes. Hiding my face on stream was important to me. Thousands of people seeing my face live on stream was not a good idea. I look like absolute trash 24/7.

Karl laughs at my condition. "Sure, no facecam, but you will show your face someday right?"

"Yeah, I guess. First to you all, then all the crazy fans" I say with sarcasm. He laughs again and my heart warms up at the sound. He's adorable. What. What the actual fuck is wrong with me. This is why I don't do social interactions. Ever. I catch feelings. Shit. 'Pretend it was never there and don't tell anyone, ever' I tell myself. Yeah. I can do that.