Him and I

chapter 10

hours went by. remus was now sober and sirius was fast asleep. james, lily and peter had returned home. how did remus know that? well the second the door opened there were a series of events that took place:

*CRASH*

"james why are you on the floor? that's not where you sleep"

"lily hush help me get him up. and stop giggling you'll wake the others"

"i-i'm fine!"

—

*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

"MY GLASSES"

"james! stop yelling"

"how many fingers am i holding up?"

"lily! right. off to bed both of you! james i'll get your glasses"

*sniffling*

"mum shouted at me..."

"james is a big baby. clearly i'm more big and strong"

*STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP*

"i'm going to bed!"

*DOOR SLAM*

"what a big baby"

"and you lily. go to bed"

"ugh you're no fun!"

*light creaks*
*door shut*

—

throughout those series clearly remus couldn't get back to sleep but sirius had slept through it all. the time was now 3 am. light snoring was coming from next door and on the other side of the house, it was now silent.

but that silence didn't last long.

crying. yelling. hyperventilating. slight screaming.

it was coming from next door.

remus sat up right in his bed trying to see if he was hallucinating hearing what he was hearing.

"stop... please" a voice cried out and remus immediately got up.

he rushed out of his own room and opened the door to sirius' room by just a little. he didn't want the others to wake up but most importantly wanted to see if he was okay.

sirius was sweating. the slight beam of moonlight that the crack between the curtains was letting in, hit his face, showing his eyes were still closed. he'd fidgeted so much that the covers were now on the floor, revealing a few small scars on his chest. he was crying. his hand gripped the bed sheets and his face was screwed up as if he were in pain. he kept crying out in teary whispers "stop!" "i'm sorry.. i'm sorry!" "y-you're hurting me".

remus' heart felt pain at what he was seeing.

remus shut the door behind him and quickly went over to the bed where sirius was getting frantic. he looked as if he was fighting sleep and trying to wake back up. but remus put a hand on his shoulder and that caused sirius to sit up right, gasping for air. he pants for a few second trying to gain back some air.

sirius' head turns slowly to look at remus. his eyes were filled with tears and some had even escaped to stream down his face. remus' eyes began to water once he saw this.

sirius opens his mouth to say something but he chokes on a cry as he finally lets the tears out. remus quickly sits on the bed and pulls sirius to his chest. sirius doesn't fight it. instead he holds onto the fabric of remus' hoodie and buries his face into his chest sobbing.

remus was left with so many questions. but he wasn't going to ask. where did he get those scars? was one of them. there wasn't as many scars as remus had. just a few on his chest. but remus didn't want to ask. he feared if he did it would make sirius more upset. he didn't want to force him into talking about it.

an hour went by. sirius had stopped sobbing into remus' chest and instead they were both laying on the bed, sirius' head still laying on remus' chest. he had his arms wrapped tightly around remus and he was staring off into space. remus however was just gently brushing strands of hair from sirius' face with his fingers, and then went on to play with them.

after a while sirius swallows and looks up to meet remus' eyes. turns out remus had been watching him the whole time.

remus moves his thumbs to under sirius' eyes and gently wiped away the tears that were now left there. sirius closes his eyes and leans into remus' touch which made remus smile slightly.

"t-thank you..." he whispers barely audible.

"shh"

remus shushes him and pulls him up closer to his chest where sirius willingly moved himself closer, burying his face in remus' neck.

"usually- usually james helps with that" he whispers again against remus' skin.

"it's okay sirius. i'm glad i could help"

sirius sighs out against the crook of remus' neck and then holds his arms tighter around him.

"i-i'm sorry you had to see that... it's because i took my medicine- it triggers nightmares sometimes a-and i couldn't s-sleep a-and-"

remus put a finger over sirius' lips and then presses a kiss to his cheek.

"hey it's okay it's okay. i've got you now" he whispers to him and feels sirius pull himself closer.

—

the next few hours were rough. remus spent most of the night up making sure sirius fell back asleep. it took a while, but once he did remus waited a little longer before letting himself fall into sleep too.

the morning soon came. sirius had shifted from laying on remus which caused remus to wake up. sirius was looking up at remus from his shoulder where he'd pulled back to look at him and remus' arms were still wrapped tight around him. remus' eyes flutter open as he feels a soft hand on his face. he looks to see it sirius outlining the scar on remus' face.

sirius wasn't bothered by it? he wasn't bothered by the scar?

remus' face was half asleep half shocked but sirius ignored it. he only looked at the scar and continued to trail his fingers around the outline.

"does it hurt?" sirius whispers not taking his eyes off of it.

remus shakes his head "not much anymore"

sirius moves to sit up, pulling remus up with him. he moves so close to remus that he was practically sat in his lap.

"sirius what are you-"

sirius puts a finger on his lips and plants a gently kiss on the scar. remus' shoulders dropped as he relaxed and he looks at sirius confused almost.

"it's beautiful" he says "however it happened most likely wasnt. but what it left is still beautiful remus. you don't need to be insecure about it, but i get that you are"

it was almost as if he'd read remus' mind. but in that moment his heart had filled with so much happiness and joy. he was so truly happy in that moment because for once he felt the need to smile at the fact someone found him beautiful. and in sirius' eyes, he wasn't just beautiful.

he was perfect.