Mia Scott had been married to her husband for half a decade but as time goes on, love and desire dwindle farther and farther from her life.
Working at an advertising agency in Paris, she lands her biggest client to date, Chanel, when a devilishly ha...
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I used to be desired.
I used to be lusted after and looked at as if I was beautiful.
There was a time in my life when I wouldn't get turned down for not only sex but quality time as well. But alas, that was all in the past.
Once again alone in our master bedroom, I refuse to let the tears fall regardless of the pain in my throat begging for it to be released. Despite the aching sensation coursing through every inch of my body, I squeeze my eyes shut and tightly ball my hands into fists.
He wasn't worth crying over anymore; not if I'm not a priority to him, not if my heartbreak doesn't affect him, not if our marriage isn't worth it to him.
It's been half a decade since we've said our vows and staring at the wedding photo inside of a crystal frame dusted to perfection, I think back on that day and how different things had become. Had I known how things would be now, would I have even gotten married?
I guess that's the fine print no one tells you about when you sign the marriage certificate, legally claiming you as husband and wife. There was no way you'd know where life would take you or if the love you two share would even still be there.
Occasionally I get glimpses of the happiness we used to have when we'd laugh and joke around or even just hold a deeper conversation than what all needs to be bought at the grocery store that week, but it never seemed to stick around. By the time I blinked, we were back to arguing or worse, not even speaking to one another at all.
And the crazy part of it all is that I feel like he's totally fine with me not being in the picture.
So why do I waste my time anymore?
We built a life together and yet we live separate lives. I go about my day without a text or phone call or any response to the ones I send him. He goes about his day as well, just to come home and ignore me until I'm too tired to linger around anymore in hopes that he would want to respond to the conversations I desperately try to have or that he'll return the affection I offer.
On most days, I walk up to him and run my hands over his shoulders as he carries on with his hobbies, trying to find a moment where I can insert myself into his life. You see, I'd be fine with letting him have some time to himself and his hobbies as we all need our outlets, but from the moment he gets home from work until around three in the morning, he leaves no room for quality time with his wife.
Random moments still happen when the sex is good, but then I'm left alone again right after, feeling used and neglected as he walks away, going back to playing video games or watching shows. I've even tried to just sit with him while he does either one, but I'm usually met with an annoyance in his tone as if my mere presence is less than desired.
I used to be desired.
I used to be lusted after and looked at as if I was beautiful.
Past lovers gave me more attention and compliments than my own husband does. Even random strangers I run across make me blush more than I have in the past few years.
