Obey

Chapter 3

June 12,2020

"Sun, you are going to be late" I hear my mom say from the living room as I close my bedroom door behind me.

"I heading out mamma" I stand behind her and she turns around surprised.

"Look at you" She says holding me by the hands. "You look so beautiful" She continues and I can see genuine happiness in her eyes. It has been a long time since she has seen me dressed like this. My style used to be a combination of street ware and soft girl depending on my mood but lately I have been feeling street ware more than usual. The streets of Korea are as fashion forward as Paris but lately I just felt like blending in. With everything going on around me I just felt safer not being noticed. But not today. Today I am in full cottage core with a white two layered skirt and floral crop top that shows off my longer white brallette. My hair is in curls complete with white FILA bucket hat and when I looked myself in the mirror this morning I honestly didn't recognized myself. It took me an extra hour to put it all together but it was worth it.

"Why the sudden change? Is today special?" She asks raising an eyebrow.

"No mamma I am just going shopping with the crew" I say distracting myself with an apple. I really don't want to answer her upcoming questions. Today its special but I don't want to ruin it by saying it out loud. I am thankful for my little brother who walks in just in time to help me make my scape. "Goodbye mamma" I say almost at the door knowing she is busy with getting some food for my brother.

"Don't be home late and be safe" I hear her say and it's the same phrase she says every morning. It should sound scripted since its always the same words but it doesn't. She means it every single morning.

"Give Appa a kiss for me" I say opening the door. I never see him in the mornings, usually my dad is still in bed at this time and its so different from before. I remember he used to be the first one to wake up in the house and by the time mom and I would be up, he would have breakfast ready for us with his sweet smile. Unfortunately ever since the accident he has been getting up later and later everyday and I am afraid one day he wont even get up. Depression is a hard word but there is nothing else that describes it. I have spoken to both mom and dad asking them to go to counseling but my words fall on deaf ears.

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Getting on one of our crew vans is always a complicated task. I never know where to sit or with whom. I always end up on the last seat by myself usually with my headphones in doing my best to not make eye contact with anyone. I always ride with the boys since the girls take over the other van. They have never asked me to join them and I have never asked. The first time we had a gig on the other side of town and we had to take the vans I was so nervous that I waited for everyone to get on. I stayed outside waiting on someone to notice me and tell me where to go. It was embarrassing and honestly I felt like crying and I would have if it weren't for Kang. He got out and grabbed me by the hand without saying a word. He sat me in the back next to him and that was the day I fell head over heels for him. He was a gentleman and I will never forget how my skin felt when he touched me. Unfortunately that was the last time we sat together. His spot is usually next to Ji-Hoon in the front but he always makes sure I am the first one to get in and checks up on me through out the ride. Today will be a short trip. We only have plans of going shopping for matching outfits for the upcoming audition. One of the idol groups under the Big Hit Label are looking for background dancers for a music video and we have an audition in less than a month.