Trials and Consequences of Love

Chapter 18

Devil May Cry – The Weeknd

"You're going to think that the pain will never end, but it will. But first, you have to let it all in. You can't fight it. It's bigger than you. You have to let yourself drown in it. But then eventually you'll start to swim and every single breath that you fight for will make you stronger. And I promise that you will beat it." – Elena Gilbert

I really you to listen to the song (not only for the chapter) because it's really really good and I discovered it while I was writing this chapter and it is golden. Listen to it and thank me later.

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🌻Aurora🌻

Pulling my black hoodie over my head I slip into the white shirt I borrowed from Kyle -without his knowledge- the last time I went to his apartment. A sneeze racks my body as soon as my bare feet touch the cold floor, leaving a light headache in its wake.

Besides Alexandre, Valentina-Rosa, and I the house is empty which makes it eerily quiet and the raindrops pelting on the glass windows create an ominous atmosphere.

After we heard that Carson died, everyone moved back to their own homes. Emily, understandably couldn't go back to her house so Kyle had her move in with him. Alexandre insisted that Valentina-Rosa stay with us and thankfully she didn't object.

I don't know what I will do when Valentina-Rosa leaves. I've gotten so accustomed to having her around and to think that she'll be leaving is terrifying. Especially since she's leaving in a time that Alexandre will be on the road often, trying to get everything in order for the grand opening of his new club; I'll be completely alone and I don't know what I'll do with myself.

Yawning I pick up the envelope from the nightstand; I have no idea what this man wrote to me and to be honest I really don't care. However, I don't want to throw the letter away and have it haunt me for the rest of my life.

"He's already dead so I doubt there's anything he can say to deepen the wound he dug all those months ago" I whisper to myself opening the envelope.

Dear Aurora,

I don't think I need to waste my time apologising to you; Emily talks about you all the time so I know you're as stubborn as a mule.

So stubborn that you refuse to listen to yourself. I took one look at you and I could tell you've trapped yourself inside of you. I could see you trying to crawl out through your eyes and all your actions. And I barely know you so imagine what your friends see when they look at you.

You're afraid and I can't imagine why.

What I took from you, you will never get it back, I understand.

But that's just it, you will never get it back so you need to let it go.

You're suffocating yourself and that's not right. You're pushing yourself underwater and one can only last so long submerged. If you keep this up, you will lose your true self; never to be found again.

When that happens, you will try to blame me but that won't work because I did not hold you hostage and rid you of yourself. You held yourself hostage and hid yourself so far away that you barely recognise her.

Facing your fears is scary, trust me I would know; but if you're surrounded by fear how will you live?

Fear hinders your potential, fear hinders your happiness; fear plants you in a place of consistency.

If you live in fear forever you will never grow, all your accomplishments will be mediocre and you will have to walk around will untapped potential for the rest of your life.

And said potential will be heavier than the burden of life itself and you will be miserable. You will have to force all your smiles and all your laughs; you will never be genuinely happy for those around you or for yourself.

And that will haunt you and you'll start questioning yourself and then all hell will break loose.

Let yourself go Aurora; if not for you then for those around you that love and adore you. If you drag yourself down this rabbit hole, they'll follow you and because of you, they'll be robbed of their happiness.

What happened to you was unfortunate,

But,

It won't be in vain,

To swallow all your pain,

And learn to love what burns,

And gather the courage to return,

Faces in the crowd will smile again.


Carson.

He's not wrong you know.

What do you mean he isn't wrong?

You are living in fear; drowning in it, to be frank.

I was raped, what do you expect me to do? Live like life is filled with rainbows and unicorns? I can still feel his hands on me; I can still feel his Hennessy laced breath on my neck.

That I understand and I would never tell you to forget what happened to you that night.

But?

But what he said in the letter about you holding yourself back, that is true and it is also true that the consequences of your fear are affecting your friends.

Whatever is that supposed to mean?

Look what happened because you were afraid to tell your friends what happened to you that night and look what happened.

What happened?

You were so afraid to speak out about what Carson did to you that it cost you your relationship with Emily, almost cost you your friendship with Teresa. Emily lost her child and Valentina-Rosa was raped.

You will not force me to blame myself for what happened to Emily and Valentina-Rosa.

I would never dare.

But?

But maybe if you had told one of them then they would've been better prepared to deal with what happened to them. They would've been aware of the person that he was, if you told them then they might have been able to leave him and save themselves.

Who says they didn't already know the type of person that he was?

Even if they did, that is not the point.

Touché. But regardless, everything happens for a reason, it was set in stone for them to go through what they went through. It'll help them with something in the long run.

Exactly, everything happens for a reason. Everything whether good or bad that happens to a person aid in character development; even what happened to you.

It is time for a change, look outside it is raining. It's time for beginnings.

It is time for you to set us free, it is time for you to be who you were meant to be.

You've been the caterpillar, you've been the pupa, now you are the butterfly embrace the changes, and learn how to fly.

My phone vibrating on the nightstand brings me out of my head; I pick it up to see two messages from the group chat. It is two in the morning these people really don't sleep.

Rolling my eyes, I unlock my phone and I can't fight the smile that lights up my face when I see the messages.

Aria: GUYS! Emily is pregnant!

Emily: With twins!

This smells like new beginnings and a blessing for real.

Change is coming A but if you don't accept it, it will simply pass you by.

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a/n: I don't really have much to say about this chapter but I agree with Carson -surprisingly- she needs to stop surviving and start living.

Also, after the next chapter, the book will take a little (for lack of better wording) from Val, Alex, Aurora, and Emily to the other characters. I think this is the part where I said the storyline will get confusing but it won't be that confusing it's just a shift in perspective and tying up of loose ends because the book is coming to an end.

Anyways thank you for reading; don't forget to comment and vote.

Word count: 1133.