Trials and Consequences of Love

Chapter 19

Final Lullaby – The Weeknd.

"A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it's up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again." -C. JoyBell C.

*Trigger Warning this chapter is emotionally provoking (at least it was for me).

And the song and words work wonders together so please listen.

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🦄Emily🦄

The sand is hot between my toes as we walk along the beach; the rain finally stopped about two days ago after antagonizing us for two and a half weeks. The sun is hotter than ever, I've been walking for less than a minute and I'm already sweating bullets. The bump has grown and Alia and Kyle have made the point of their duty to talk to my belly whenever they have the time especially before I go to bed at night time; whenever the others come over it's the same thing. They are more excited about these babies than I am.

They wanted to plan a shower and a gender reveal but I told them not to; I just don't think that it will feel right. I'll just have them visit the doctor with me when I'm doing the ultrasound; speaking of the doctor I have an appointment the day after tomorrow. Alia and Kyle will be coming with me though I have told them multiple times that I can visit the doctor on my own; I guess they are going to do everything in their power to show me that I am not alone. I really don't mind them all being here for me I just don't want to put anybody out of their way.

"Is this a good enough spot?" Kyle asks turning to the rest of us.

"I think so, what do you think Emily? Is it good enough or should we go further?" Carter asks resting his hands on my shoulder.

"I think this alright; the wind is pretty strong up here as well so it'll do the trick I think" We are currently in Cambridge at a beach I didn't even know existed, there is a whole community surrounding it I think might consider buying a house out here once I get the other house sold.

"Well then here you go; can you manage it?" Kyle asks handing me the urn.

"I think I can, it's not that heavy," I say holding it close to my chest.

"Alright then mama, you go do what you have to do. Take your time, we'll all be right here waiting for you when you're done" Kyle smiles at me, ruffling my hair as he walks away.

I decided that it was time for me to let go of Nina; I feel both selfish and ungrateful holding onto her knowing that though I lost her God decided to bless me with two more babies. I felt like holding her ashes in that grave was suffocating her so I had them removed and now I'm going to scatter them so that her soul may find peace.

Looking out on the picturesque view of the waves crashing over each other I sigh and hug the urn tighter to my chest.

"Hey baby" I whisper as a strong gust of wind lifts the ends of my hair, the scent of the white rose in my hand tickling my nose.

"Can you still hear me?"

"Do you remember me?"

"It's mommy."

"Do you recognize me?"

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you lately,

"I've been busy dealing with daddy and it has been raining."