Bow Down To The King (Completed)

Ch : 42 We don't deserve this

Suicide attempt🔞

Gulf-Pov

After he was gone, I sat there dumbfounded. The seatbelt and car doors automatically opened after he was.. gone.

But I didn't have the strength to get out. I didn't function what was happening. I don't know the time. I don't know my surroundings. The only thing I know is.. he is gone.

I pushed him to his limits. He couldn't handle that much secrets of me. I kept telling him that I love him so much, but he not only wanted to be loved.. he wanted to be trusted too.

I drove him to his edge of leaving. I couldn't make him stay. My love was not enough but my trust would be enough for him. He kept his cool till the end but in the end he had enough of my shit.

He stayed patient with me but at last he gave up. He gave up to his hope that I will be trusting him.

Now that I think of it.. what was the worst that could have happened? What is the worst he could do to me? Kill me at that instant?

I was never one of a person that was afraid of death. I am not afraid to be killed by him. I am afraid to be hated by him. I am afraid that we would not be able to live together like I thought.

But.. that's what I did, right? The reason I was not telling him the things was because I didn't want to be apart from me, didn't want to be hated by him. But that's what I did at the very last. It's the reason I was not telling him.

This was not supposed to happen. I thought we still had some more time together. Why.. why did he leave me?

I remembered him telling me once, 'If we ever have to be apart or have to break up.. I don't think I will be able to live without you, Gulf. I can't live without you anymore.'

I guess that apply to me too? I can't live without you, too. I don't want to live in a world that you are not a part of it anymore.

Thinking that, I switched the seats and started driving. I am not even crying anymore.

I drove and drove till I reached the edge of valley. I heard that the valley here is deep.

Good for me.

I pushed the acceleration all the way and prepared to fall in the valley. But when I reached the edge, the car automatically stopped.

What the shit is this?

I tried to give more acceleration but the car won't move further. C'mon, just a foot and we will be done.

"Ugghh.. what the fuck!?" I stomped my hands on the steering wheel, frustrated.

I tried again to be fell in the valley, but nope. This mercedes won't budge.

Then it hit me.

"You can't kill yourself. I won't let you."

"ASSHOLE!? WON'T LET ME DIE IN PEACE." I screamed in the calm atmosphere.

And I started crying. I cried so hard. I miss him.. I miss him.. I miss him so much..

I can't breath anymore.. I started sweating heavily. My eyes got blank and I couldn't see anything but black dots.

I don't want anyone's help but I need someone. I need anyone's presence.

"Eva.." I closed my eyes after that.

What it felt like days.. I opened my eyes slowly. I stared at the ceiling above my head. It's HIS house. The one's whose name I refuse to speak anymore.