Join me • Dreambur (High School Au) || English

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I just don't get it.

I don't get it at all.

Why do i feel like this?

I'm not acting, I know I'm not

But I have this.. overwhelming feeling that doesn't leave me alone

I'm not lying...

I'm not lying.

I'm not lying.

I'm not lying.

I'm not lying.

I'm not lying.

But why?

Am I the villain?

Am I the bad guy?

I'm pretty sure I am.

But..

It doesn't feel right

I know that I'm not acting, I know that.. I'm being real

I'm being myself

But why does it feel like this..?

It doesn't make any sense!

I hear someone behind me, I just say hi

They replied asking if I was okay

Am I really okay?

I answer yes

He's coming near me

I can't let him see me like this

I'm supposed to be strong and a heartless. Cold. Person.

I'm supposed to not have feelings..

But why?

...

Why is he hugging me?

I have to push him away

I push him away

I tell him that we have things to do, we can't waste our time on this

He just nods and walks away

Why?

Why am I like this?

I just push everyone away

Literally-

I don't regret this

This is the way I am

But if I'm not acting.. what am I doing?

Why everything that my heart tells me to do feels wrong?

I am this way, I was made this way, that won't change

I'm made to be cruel, to be selfish

I do that at my own will

I do it because I want to

But why do I want to?

...

I hear someone call my name

I stand up and go in the direction that I heard the yell

I go near the person

She said that i have to be careful with what I do

Why does she tell me that?

She knows that everything is wrong?

Because if that's the case then.. I'll be alone

She snaps me out of my thoughts

I can still hear a lot of things in my head

I try to ignore them

She takes my arm and we walk out of the room

She tells me that she has to go

I tell her that she can leave, I'll handle this myself

She looks around the hallway before running away after seeing that nobody was near

I miss her

She's the only person that's not fake

That's what I like to think

Everybody around me is fake

No..

I'm the fake one

I'm the one that's fake

I'm the one that makes everyone suffer

I have to be gone

But I don't want to

If I'm not here.. everyone will be happy

I also know that I can't leave

I'm too scared of death

I'm a coward

I'm a crybaby

I want to go home

wait.. what did I just-

I don't want to go home.

Do I have a home?

House.. home.. it's the same right?

It's the same..

I remember that I have to leave

I walk inside the room and take a few things from a bag on the corner then walk to the entrance of the big room that everyone's in

This is the calm before the storm